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Ryan Lochte finally apologizes for being a dumbass


Ready for the latest chapter in LochteGate? After his teammates admitted to Brazilian authorities yesterday that Ryan Lochte’s story about an armed robbery was false and that the group of four trashed a gas station bathroom, Lochte is finally talking. Minutes ago, he posted this apology on Twitter:

First off, I’m not sure I buy the “it’s traumatic being out late with friends in a foreign country” bit, but at least he’s finally speaking on the matter, even if he’s still sticking to the line about a stranger sticking a gun in his face and demanding money, which, in reality was a security guard demanding he pay for breaking a door and peeing on his establishment.  

A simple, “I apologize for being a dumbass and embarrassing my country” would have been better. 

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

22 Comments for Ryan Lochte finally apologizes for being a dumbass

  1. deltasig41
    10:50 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    No, he needs to get in front of a camera and actually speak the words. Having a ghost-writer produce a statement he can post to Twitter is far from a real apology.

  2. GroundControlToNumber9
    10:52 am August 19, 2016 Permalink


  3. Sentient Third Eye
    10:54 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    I’ve actually heard people say that he should lose his medals, but that seems extreme. This behavior had nothing to do with the Olympics, so that makes no sense. I do, however, think Lochte should have to spend a few weeks in a Rio jail.

    • ClutchCargo
      10:57 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

      I agree, and it might have gone down that way if he hadn’t high-tailed it back to the US before the cops could determine what really happened. Instead, he left his buddies to fend for themselves.

  4. ClutchCargo
    10:55 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t actually see an apology that addressed what he did wrong. Seems more like he is sorry the truth came out and embarrassed him.

  5. LaFlamaBlanca
    10:55 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    “Its traumatic to be out late with your friends in a foreign country-with a language barrier-and have a stranger point a gun at you and demand money to let you leave…”

    Might want to include the important information in that sentence. Do you agree?

    • Booby Petrino
      10:58 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

      I agree. I also agree that if you break someone’s stuff and pee on someone’s stuff, you deserve to be treated like a criminal.

    • LaFlamaBlanca
      11:10 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

      The “sign” they broke literally looks like a piece of cardboard. I think paying the gas station workers yearly salary should be enough to cover it.

    • Sentient Third Eye
      11:29 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

      I’ve been out past dark in at least three foreign countries, and I didn’t fabricate a robbery at a gas station in any of them.

    • LaFlamaBlanca
      12:38 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

      You want a trophy or a plaque?

  6. Badboy
    11:02 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    He really needs to learn to use periods now and then. The run-on sentences are awful!

  7. MikesWay
    11:05 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    This whole thing is just a stunt for his reality TV show. Season 2 airs this fall called “Lochte’d Up Abroad”.

  8. taiza67
    11:20 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    You mean the guy with the Mr. Freeze frosted hair turned out to be a giant, attention craving, deuschebag?

  9. jimlowe7
    11:57 am August 19, 2016 Permalink

    His failure to admit he was under the influence and had a part in the property damage shows he thinks he has a sense of entitlement…let him try to get endorsements now…his financial future is in trouble!

  10. ukcamel
    12:08 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

    He is not a sympathetic victim, but pointing a gun at someone and demanding their money is robbery, even if they “owe” you money. If this were the U.S. Lochte would be guilty of a very minor misdemeanor and the security guard would be guilty of a very serious felony. And the judge who helped shake him down would also be thrown in jail (but open, blatant extortion doesn’t occur in the U.S., we are decent enough to do that kind of stuff behind closed doors).

  11. bluesyCat
    12:39 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

    he needs to apologize for those stupid skinny jeans he was wearing in the video. It looked like he had a banana in his butt the way they made him waddle

  12. Kat4Life
    12:44 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

    As we have learned over the years, being a great athlete does not require an advanced intellect, a working moral compass, or much common sense……..time to move on…….3 years ago Phelps was getting DUI’s, smoking pot on camera, and making a weekly mockery of his Olympic successes…… month he’ll be on every Wheaties box on the planet, with more endorsement dollars then Jordan in his prime……welcome to America !!

  13. Cousins Fake Tooth
    1:19 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

    Still had a gun pointed at him in a foreign country. This is really a non-story and yet something else the media is using to take away from actually covering Killary Clintons failures and body count.

    • whack0001
      2:29 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

      I agree, who gives a shit. He got drunk and did something stupid and got the hell out of the country. The only reason anybody cares is because he’s famous. The sports media is nothing but a tabloid anymore. I even heard the FBI might get involved. Are you kidding me!? This happened in a foreign country that has a huge crime and corruption problem. Just don’t ever go back to Brazil and nothing should happen. Is the US going to extradite him to a foreign country? Give me a break

    • Billy Hill
      11:02 pm August 19, 2016 Permalink

      Yeah. Do like whack0001 and never leave your RV park. #safeplace