Editor’s Note: The following was previously published on The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of Fake News You Can’t Count On.
In response to North Carolina’s newest bathroom law, the first since outlawing that whole ‘whites only’ one, the NCAA has decided to relocate all championship tournament games that were scheduled to take place in the state over the next academic year (for NCAA purposes, the term ‘academic year’ refers to the period of time when athletes are eligible to have papers written and tests taken for them). Instead of vacating wins or vacating championships, the NCAA has decided to stand up to North Carolina by vacating their chance to host championships because of their rules on where citizens can vacate their bowels.
The law in North Carolina makes it illegal for citizens to use a bathroom based only on their biological sex. LGBT officials have pointed out the hypocrisy of many Tar Heel State residents, many of whom push for their basketball teams to get out into transition but not their citizens. “We can’t have people taking out their willies all willy-nilly,” said Durham resident Tanner Warble. “We would get people saying their transitioning to a woman so they would stay eligible for the women’s restroom but they wouldn’t do any of the research or homework behind it. Unacceptable.”
North Carolinians in favor of the new bathroom order were upset by the NCAA’s decision. “This is such a publicity stunt,” said one resident. “The NCAA is just trying to push their agenda, and make a big scene. They’ve just decided to persecute us for our perfectly reasonable law, that we worked hard to pass, in order to get attention for ourselves and our agenda.”
The NCAA has made clear with this ruling that they will not tolerate anyone making decisions or rules that limit the freedoms of any group of individuals in their ability to express themselves or live their lives. Unless, of course, the NCAA is the one limiting the freedoms of groups or individuals, then it’s cool.