Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
Local celebrity Lee Cruse’s bowling game has become the subject of local lore after his infamous performance in the KSR bowling league. However, the television personality has reportedly been practicing every night at Southland Bowling Lanes and those in attendance report they saw Cruse nearly miss the perfect 300 game by a mere 10 frames.
Employees say they’ve seen Cruse at the lanes late into the night every night since the much talked about disaster of a league performance. “He’s usually here for a few hours, working on his craft until close,” said one employee, his face clouded by the mist of magic spray they use to sanitize the bowling shoes. “For the past few weeks every time you look down there you can see that bright pink 8 pounder of his gliding down the lane.”
Even though cruse came up just 10 frames short (no offense intended to Cruse here for using the word short) Southland has decided it will still honor his performance by framing his bowling shirt in an 8×10 frame that will be prominently displayed near the cash register.
Cruse has not been asked back to the KSR bowling league yet but some say that he isn’t being kept out solely because of his performance last time. “It’s an adults-only league, I shouldn’t have to find a kids size 7,” the employee behind the shoe counter said.
Cruse was last seen trying to pry the bumpers on the lane up without anyone noticing.