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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

KSR Conversations: Mississippi State Edition

Get to know the 2013-14 Mississippi State Bulldogs before tomorrow night’s game through this imaginary conversation… 

Who coaches Mississippi State? I honestly don’t know.

Mississippi State’s head basketball coach is Rick Ray. Ray was hired in April of 2012 to replace Rick Stansbury. Stansbury, a Kentucky boy, stepped away after 14 years on the Bulldogs sideline.

They really like coaches named Rick, don’t they?

Now that you mention it, yeah, I guess so. Before Stansbury it was a guy named Richard Williams. He was very successful, Mississippi State’s second all-time leader in wins, but he’s more of a Dick.

Oh, I see. So who are the players to watch this year? Dee Bost and Ravern Johnson are always tough.

Believe it or not, Dee Bost and Ravern Johnson are long gone, finally. This year’s leading scorer is Craig Sword, a sophomore guard they call “Chicken.” He earned All-SEC Freshman honors last season and he’s currently averaging over 14 points per game in 2013-14.

Keep an eye on 6-foot-8 senior Colin Burchert, too. He’s coming off a career-high 22 points in his last game and he has five of Mississippi State’s seven double-doubles this season. He’ll be matched up with Julius Randle.

You said they call him Chicken? Like, “Bock-bock-bock-bucock” Chicken?!

Yes, Chicken. Like, the delicious fried poultry at Indi’s in Lexington or what Indiana fans call John Calipari when he refuses to play in Assembly Hall. It has been Sword’s nickname since he was a baby and his coach said he won’t answer if you call him Craig.

So don’t call him Craig if you see him; call him Chicken.

Noted. Sounds like that Chicken guy might get a lot of buckets. Get it?

I get it. And it’s not funny.

Oh, come on. I hear he’s great on the wing.

Stop. We’re not doing this.

But he gets gobbled up when he goes inside.

That’s enough. Do you want to learn more about Mississippi State or make chicken jokes all night? And so you know, chickens don’t even gobble. That’s a turkey, you imbecile.

Now you’ve got me worked up and my anger is only egging you on. I give up.

Ha. You said egg.


OK I’m done. Tell me about last season. Kentucky beat Mississippi State, right?

Yes, Kentucky defeated a very bad Mississippi State team by 30 points. State brought only eight players to the game: six scholarship guys and two walk-ons. Only two Bulldogs reached double-figures while Kentucky’s entire starting lineup scored 11 or more points.

Ryan Harrow was UK’s leading scorer with 19 points, if that tells you anything.

Wow. Ryan Harrow. There’s a name.

He’s doing great at Georgia State this season. He’s averaging 19 points and almost five assists per game.

Good for him. What’s Mississippi State’s record this year?

The Bulldogs are 10-3, just like Kentucky, but with a much easier non-conference schedule. State lacks a marquee win and its three losses are to Utah State on the road and at home to TCU and UNLV — all three by double-digits. The Bulldogs also needed overtime to beat 3-4 Loyola (IL) of the MVC at home in early December. Loyola had a shot at the buzzer to win it.

Judging by the two schedules, it looks like Kentucky shouldn’t have any problems getting the win.

No, this is a game Kentucky should easily win. The Cats are very hungry after the 11-day break and Mississippi State, though improved from a year ago, just can’t match up with the talent of UK. Not to mention, Rupp Arena is anxious for another game. The crowd will be electric.

The key will be containing Chicken. I hope he gets in fowl trouble.

This conversation is over.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

22 Comments for KSR Conversations: Mississippi State Edition

  1. Gary
    8:06 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    Anyone know where to watch UK play tomorrow night on TV? Suppose to be on the SEC network. Will Time Warner show it? Cant find it listed anywhere.

    • Louisville1Cal5
      8:27 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    • Daniel
      9:23 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

      cbs where I am.. which I guess is the SEC net

  2. I've Seen Ashley Naked
    8:09 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    I hope you didn’t ruffle and feathers writing this………

  3. I've Seen Ashley Naked
    8:12 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    If you are local WAVE has it… is also on DIRECTV (MSG Network, and I believe Fox SS)…..if you have ESPN Full Court it is on channel 723 I believe…….It is on Dish as well……..not sure about Time Warner, but MSG channel should be in TW’s package.

  4. W.W.B.B.N.D?
    8:15 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    New Orleans is playing the Heat on NBA tv.

  5. ZACH
    8:17 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    Kentucky is about to Fry that Chicken!

  6. Some Guy in Kentucky
    8:20 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    The UK-Miss St. game will be on Dish channel 462. It is free on ESPN full court, it will not be on WAVE 3 in Louisville.

    • Flippy23
      9:01 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

      I think he’s right, I do believe WAVE in Louisville has picked it up…….see Mrs. TT’s earlier note

  7. SunsetOverEddyville
    8:27 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    Nice post Drew! I actually chuckled a few times.
    Keep your day job, but take that act on the road.

  8. Bobby Petrino
    8:46 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    Get ready for the beatdowns, slapdicks.

    • haha
      9:00 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

      Cool. I’ll bring the Valtrex…

    • Yep
      9:20 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

      Sadly, the troll is right.

  9. haha
    9:12 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    “But he gets gobbled up when he goes inside”

  10. TBone
    9:19 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    A complete rip-off of Tomlin’s original shtick, except Tomlin’s was actually funny. Drew is officially the Dane Cook of KSR writers.

  11. Notbillyg
    9:21 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    Are we sure tomlin didn’t write this one? Feels like Tomlin….god knows he doesn’t need the ego boost!

  12. Daniel
    9:26 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    The guy to look out for is Gavin Ware.. good post player he is a really good scorer in the post but I don’t see out team having any problems with that… Colin Burchert is ok but when I saw him he looked of like a slow white guy, Julius Randle will feast on him if that is the matchup

  13. Gurn Blanston
    9:33 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    I guess Chicken Sword was less offensive than PORK SWORD!

  14. ScoggDog
    9:46 pm January 7, 2014 Permalink

    If they hire Petrino or not is secondary … this series means more to them than it does to us.

    You want to hurt the ‘Ville ? Cancel the games. All of them.

  15. Megan
    12:08 am January 8, 2014 Permalink

    “Rupp Arena is anxious for another game.” No, Drew, anxious means worried. You know, having anxiety. The word you’re looking for is eager.

    That was a rather entertaining bit. Move it up in the rotation.

  16. Dr. Tom
    12:35 am January 8, 2014 Permalink

    Pretty good stuff from a Hopkins County boy. Really good job Drew….love your posts!!

  17. Tom
    7:40 am January 8, 2014 Permalink

    Sounds like MSU is rebuilding their team from scratch.