Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
Tonight, Kerri Walsh Jennings gets one step closer to her goal of getting a fourth straight gold medal and in the process, absorbing yet another last name of her defeated foe to add to her already impressive collection.
This is Walsh Jennings first Olympics with her new partner April Ross and fans have been following the games closely, as her and Ross have been in a real “will they or won’t they” get a medal story.
Fans of US beach volleyball seem to pop up every four years or so, and this year’s group have had to pin their hopes for US gold on the dominant team of Walsh Jennings and Ross. The men’s team was thankfully eliminated early on, as it was getting increasingly difficult to root for a dude wearing a backwards hat while he played beach volleyball at night.
The only drawback for US beach volleyball fans having just the women’s team left to watch is at times it’s the only Olympic sport you feel weird watching with your dad in the room. Unless of course, you happened to watch the mixed doubles tennis final featuring gold Medal winner Jack Sock, and he started mentioning how much of a Jack Sock fan he is. To be fair, you’ll probably spend most of tonight’s match trying to convince your dad that Walsh Jennings is actually only one member of the beach volleyball team, not two different people, and certainly not the name of that guy who used to host that show Unsolved Mysteries.
Looking ahead, Walsh Jennings is planning to do what some have called impossible. Sources have confirmed that if she’s able to secure an additional last name in Rio, she intends to take a page out of former teammate Misty May-Treanor’s book and attempt the first ever triple-name, double-hypen pit sizzler at the 2020 games in Tokyo.
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