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Kentucky’s District 3 Constable race has a front-runner

I can’t vote in District 3’s Constable race, but if I could, I wouldn’t think twice about giving my vote to Harvey Dean Collins.

With over thirty years of experience, he says, Collins looks qualified for the job. His campaign ad reads, “I can eat a sandwich with one hand, pick up a dead dog with the other.”

How that multitasking applies to the job, I don’t know. But it’s definitely enough to earn my vote. Throw in the fact he can unlock any vehicle door, and it’s an easy decision on the ballot.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

10 Comments for Kentucky’s District 3 Constable race has a front-runner



  1. Mathlete
    11:11 am March 29, 2018 Permalink

    There are so many stupid, unnecessary elections in this state…



    • cats646
      11:21 am March 29, 2018 Permalink

      But hilarious.



    • ClutchCargo
      4:11 pm March 29, 2018 Permalink

      The office of constable is totally useless.



  2. 57nukeduke
    11:22 am March 29, 2018 Permalink

    The question I would ask him is Cat fan or card fan.



  3. m4ff3w
    11:30 am March 29, 2018 Permalink

    I’m from Webster County, but spent time every summer with my grandparents in Onieda. I miss that area.



  4. Jiminy Crickets
    11:45 am March 29, 2018 Permalink

    Does this happen at any other state but KY?



  5. RealCatsFan
    12:04 pm March 29, 2018 Permalink

    So is he saying that he will keep the local roads free of road kill?



  6. MatCauthon
    12:14 pm March 29, 2018 Permalink

    The best part is it looks like he photoshopped over his mug shot.



  7. ksrbluesbrother
    1:04 pm March 29, 2018 Permalink

    If SnorkleNose Matt Jones is serious about political office…he needs to git sum pitures in his ole ratty UK cap, make some fancy campaign signs nailed to the ‘par’ pole out on the county road and run for this office. He probably couldn’t beat Harvey Dean.



  8. LegggoooCats
    2:16 am March 30, 2018 Permalink

    Matt Jones running for political office would be laughable. It would only be to feed his bloated ego… but that would take a major hit when he got smoked in the election! As a liberal snowflake though, he’d find someone else to blame for his loss.