Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
In Kentucky, recent teacher protests have already caused many many people to lose their jobs across the commonwealth, the effects of which might have extended to the Cincinnati Reds clubhouse.
Cincinnati Reds equipment manager Griswold “Mitt” Bevin has recently found himself in hot water with certain media outlets as he has had no issue blaming the team’s most recent slump on Kentucky’s educators. During Monday’s post-game hot tub with reporters, he pointed out that teachers returned to work on the same day the Reds managed to end an 8 game losing streak, “Coincidence? I think not.”
Mitt continued, “Look the way we’ve been playing recently it’s hard to say there’s one root cause, after all, I’m no gardener. However, I can tell you that if you take one look around you can tell someone poisoned the morale in the locker room. And I’m not gonna name names, but I guarantee that someone was a teacher.”
“Someone should fire all of the Reds board members and replace them with friends of a Governor,” said one Governor who asked to remain nameless during an interview we had earlier today in Frankfort, Kentucky. “I think we just need some new leadership, if players and coaches haven’t lost their jobs already, maybe people will remember in November.”