Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Keeneland At Home: Tips For Bringing The SUMMER Meet To You!

Keeneland’s Summer Meet begins today. What a weird sentence. Summer meet? At Keeneland? 2020 has everything all messed up.

Back in the spring when Keeneland was ripped from our lives by COVID, I wrote a guide on how to have a full day of Keeneland fun from the comfort of your own home. Now that live racing has returned to our favorite place on God’s green Earth, let’s dig those tips back up to do it all over again. (But let’s not focus on how Keeneland jacked my ‘Keeneland At Home’ title.)

First post is at 1:05 p.m. today and everyday through this coming Sunday, July 12. I suck at betting on horses so I’ll leave you to find your plays on your own, but I do know how to have a good time and I think this guide will help with your at-home fun while Keeneland is running.

Send us pics, and enjoy summertime Keeneland!


TIPS FOR KEENELAND AT HOME


 

Tailgate.

I feel like this one’s pretty obvious. If you have a yard or a nice outdoor area nearby that is within the rules and regulations of social distancing, have at it. Ice down some beer, play cornhole, grill, do your thing… as long as you’re doing it in a safe manner.

 

Bet on your phone.

The Keeneland Select app is one of those ways, along with TwinSpires, TVG and others. Here’s the entire post schedule.

 

Hire an elderly man to dress up and sit on a stool by the front door, but offer little help when you need it.

If you have a green jacket and/or an ascot cap laying around, it will really bring this character to life. You can hand him $5 to start the day for the full effect.

 

Make a Keeneland Breeze (or seven).

The Keeneland Breeze is Keeneland’s signature cocktail, a sweet and citrusy twist on bourbon-based day drinking.

Here’s the recipe from Liquor.com, a trusted online source in liquor, I presume:

Ingredients

– 1 1/4 oz Maker’s Mark bourbon
– DeKuyper orange curaçao liqueur
– Ginger ale
– Garnish: Orange wedge

Steps

1. Fill rocks glass with ice.

2. Add the bourbon, orange curaçao liqueur and a squeeze of fresh orange and stir.

3. Top off with ginger ale, and garnish with an orange wedge.

There ya go, a Keeneland Breeze at home like the pros do… and you can get more than two at a time!

 

Make a big pot of burgoo.

Keeneland’s burgoo recipe is a secret kept tight under lock and key in a vault beneath Clocker’s Corner, but you can make your own version at home by combining beef, potatoes and a random assortment of vegetables and other items around your kitchen, backyard and even the garage.

It won’t match the warm feeling that comes with a cup of Keeneland’s burgoo on one of those chillier afternoons at the track, but it’s a recipe you can’t screw up.

 

Dip a brand new tie in the burgoo.

Hang on to it, though. That tie is not done for the day.

 

Watch the horses in the paddock.

Here’s a 13-minute video from the Keeneland paddock in 2016. Pull it up on your TV, you’ll never know it’s not live.

 

Take a $20 bill out of your wallet and flush it down the toilet.

We lost that race. I told you to take the 7.

 

Politely ask a friend or neighbor to blow cigar smoke directly into your face.

Now we’re really capturing that Keeneland environment!

 

Walk from room to room in your house, looking for your friends who swore they’re standing by the finish line but clearly aren’t because you’ve checked there twice.

They’re not answering!

 

Pour two ounces of Keeneland Breeze directly onto your brand new tie.

Repeat every two to three Keeneland Breezes.

 

Take a $20 bill out of your wallet and flush it down the toilet.

We lost that race too. The 4 came out of nowhere.

 

Stand outside your bathroom door until you have to pee so bad you go blind, then wait 20 more minutes before you go in.

This one will be difficult and will take some discipline. If you think you can’t hold it any longer, threaten to piss in the sink or a trash can if things don’t hurry up. You won’t, but saying it out loud helps.

 

Walk to the end of your road and try to get an Uber, but switch your phone to Airplane Mode first.

By switching to Airplane Mode, you guarantee there is no chance in hell your phone will be able to connect you with someone, anyone, who is driving for Uber, Lyft, or the local cab company. Your phone will not be able to connect you to anyone, which is how I feel almost every time I’ve tried to leave Keeneland.

Now stand there another 45 minutes, trying.

 

Sit in the backseat of your car for an hour.

This one is a little tougher to pull off because you can’t put five people in the backseat with you and it would be frowned upon to park in in the far left lane on Versailles Road, but try to get as uncomfortable as possible in your car and sit there until your nauseous. You may want to sing with the windows down and that’s fine too.

 

Pass out on the couch.

We’re getting up early to do it again tomorrow! Be sure to wear your best tie.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

1 Comment for Keeneland At Home: Tips For Bringing The SUMMER Meet To You!



  1. gasman01
    12:36 pm July 8, 2020 Permalink

    LMAO