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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

If Rob Ford watched Kentucky basketball

**There are lots of big files in this post, so feel free to let it load while you treat yourself to another glass of wine and/or cookie.**

Merry Christmas, everyone! A wonderful day of family friendship, and food. Don’t worry, I brought a present: Rob Ford, the GIF that keeps on giving. Toronto’s crackhead mayor is one of the most ridiculous news stories of 2013, and the pictures, GIFs, and videos of him are a comedy goldmine. While going through them the other day, I had a thought: What would Rob Ford think of this Kentucky basketball team? Like a dog with a bone, I couldn’t let go, so I present you with “If Rob Ford watched Kentucky Basketball”:

October 18: Big Blue Madness

Matthew Mitchell is James Brown, Rupp gets a big screen, and the season is finally underway. “HEY-AAAAAYYYYY IT’S A DAKARI IN THE USA!”


October 29: Blue/White Scrimmage

EJ Floreal dunked on Julius Randle during what a lot of us thought at the time would be the most difficult game UK would play this season. Boy were we wrong. (Still giddy though)


November 1: Transy, W 76-42

The Cats overcame a sluggish first half to cruise past Transy. Julius Randle was the only Cat to score in double figures, getting the first of many double-doubles. Just some first game jitters, right? We’ll totally be fine.


November 4: Montevallo W, 95-72

James Young scores an own goal as the Cats get off to another sloppy start to put away Montevallo. So good we’re scoring points for the other team.


November 8: UNC Asheville W, 89-57

Andrew Harrison returns from injury, Julius Randle gets another double-double, and Marcus Lee scores 17.


November 10: Northern Kentucky W, 95-63

Last cupcake before Michigan State. More Julius, Alex Poythress roars, and Andrew Harrison runs the offense with ease.


November 12: Michigan State in Chicago L, 78-74



November 17: Robert Morris W, 87-49

Andrew Harrison hit a circus shot that didn’t count and the Cats avenged a humiliating loss from last season. Back on the horse.


November 19: Texas-Arlington W, 105-76



November 25: Cleveland State W, 68-61

“We were supposed to kill these guys, right? Just destroy them? No? Oh…well.”


November 27: Eastern Michigan W, 81-63

Willie Cauley-Stein shines in a pre-Thanksgiving day tuneup. Feeling better.


December 1: Providence W, 79-65

Willie shines again and Cal gets giddy. Bring on Dallas!

December 6: Baylor in Dallas L, 67-62


We hate Dallas.

December 10: Boise State W, 70-55

A win is a win, but Willie’s hair…

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December 14: @ North Carolina L, 82-77

Another big stage, another stumble. h0s0F

December 21: Belmont W, 93-80

Belmont’s three-point shooting was pretty cute, but that’s enough. robford4

Before Louisville game:

We can beat them. Can we beat them? I just don’t… isdDpjaUNAqNF

Merry Christmas, friends.

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

16 Comments for If Rob Ford watched Kentucky basketball

  1. Shooter
    3:19 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

    I’m so glad that we do not have to worry about our Kentucky politicians smoking crack, weed, meth, hash or what-not. Canadia is the only place with these nut -jobs!

    • VinnyCent
      10:05 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

      Our politicians are not caught yet.

  2. Matt Jones
    3:46 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

    I like this a lot

  3. Jim Bob Cooter
    6:02 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

    I hadn’t seen that football fall before!!


    And come on! Beat those Cards! Just to wipe the smugness off Pitino for 15 seconds.

  4. CrimsonCee
    9:27 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

    This is so stupid I was embarrassed just skimming it. It’s like one of those weird fan fiction more than a comedy bit. I’d say you set the state of Kentucky back, but in fact you’ve shamed the entire human race. Stupid obsessive bullcrap garbage. You spent Christmas writing this?!?! Ha ha…well, that’s better than the normal bouts of incest at your family gatherings/singles mixers. Losers.

    • VinnyCent
      10:07 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

      Q: What’s the difference between two d!cks and a joke? A: You can’t take a joke.

  5. Jarweed
    9:49 pm December 25, 2013 Permalink

    Quite ironic comment there, CrimsonCee…When Rob Ford is voted out he would make an outstanding color commentator on the IMG network. Great post.

  6. Colche
    3:26 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

    Dear KSR,

    I feel sorry for the author, looking up all those GIFs and coming up with those “witty” remarks. This is supposed to give me Kentucky sports news “in the most ridiculous manner possible”, not waste my time with a poorly written fantasy prose with sprinkled GIFs of a deadbeat, no-future, very embarrassing character. I can only guess the author felt compelled to use Ford in this “article” because she realized he exemplifies the foreshadowing of her journalism career. What a very awful and terrible RECAP of what we have obviously seen and experienced this season so far. I saw no basketball, football, or recruiting news but definitely more than enough ridiculousness. Also, using Rob Ford to represent (/ridicule?) the Kentucky basketball team was a terrible idea in itself. It sends a message to the fans of utter hopelessness that you have seemed to accept by symbolizing this great bunch of kids with someone who looks and acts like Chris Farley in his twilight.

    Seriously? She is a moderator? The example? Really? Wow…

    Not saying I could have done a better job (probably would have); I’m saying I would have not done it at all. As the author, I would feel awful for the genocide of neurons occurring in every reader’s brain as they frenetically hold on to any shred of hope left for this website.

    As a very loyal reader of this blog since its inception, I felt the need to write this response as this “article” was the last straw in long and gruesome line of very bad “contributions” made by Mrs. Thompson.

    Seriously, scrolling down as fast as I could through her “articles” to protect my intellect just was not enough anymore.


    A very troubled fan (@jboca8)

    P.S. Should really reconsider the whole “no sandwich” thing. Might be just slightly better at making those than these “articles”.

    • AnthonyBBN
      8:28 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Dear Colche,

      Please refer to VinnyCent’s comment to CrimsonCee.

      Thank you.

    • TAXman
      8:39 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Wow. You’re one bitter dude.

    • Colche
      9:46 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Dear AnthonyBBN,

      Please refer to Mrs. Thompson’s post history. I truly don’t know your opinion but I am willing to bet that the usual KSR reader does NOT come here to learn about cookie recipes, her position on sandwich-making or about monkeys riding dogs…

      Let me know when you are done. I want to make sure that you are not drooling your brains out on the floor after reading.


    • BleedingBlue
      11:05 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Dear Colon,

      First, who writes a rambling screed against an author on the comments section of a website at 3:26 AM? I can only imagine you as the Comic Book Guy off the Simpsons sitting in his underwear at the computer yelling, “Worst article ever!” With most every team at home for Christmas there is very little ‘hard’ news to write, so you get silliness, but it just wasn’t up to your rigorous standards. Fortunately for you there is an easy fix. STOP READING! Find another website. I’m sure Lousiville and Indiana fan sites would be happy to have someone with you razor sharp intellect and keen insight.

      Someone whose intellect is quite intact after reading the article

    • Colche
      12:40 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

      Man, I’m really sorry about your colon.

    • Colche
      12:41 pm December 26, 2013 Permalink

      It also seems that you don’t exactly know what time zones are…

  7. Poppschmidty
    8:33 am December 26, 2013 Permalink

    This is hilarious. Mrs Tyler, well done, well done indeed.

  8. chilly billy
    12:35 am December 27, 2013 Permalink

    love this guy…get him on ksr. I would party with this dude!