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I think we should all apply for “Associate University Counsel” at Louisville

uofl-counsel

The University of Louisville needs an attorney and I think you’re perfectly qualified for the job. You couldn’t be more qualified, in my opinion. You’re the perfect fit. The job is yours for the taking. And I’m talking to every single one of you reading this. Stop talking yourself out of it. This is your calling.

Apply here to get the process moving and be sure to really express yourself in the application. I’m told the university really likes when its applicants flood the system with UofL jokes and other useless and silly submissions. If all of us apply, that should provide Louisville with a big enough pool to find the perfect hire. And I think that’s you so don’t miss out on this opportunity. Get to it!

(This should be fun.)

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

39 Comments for I think we should all apply for “Associate University Counsel” at Louisville



  1. Steve Fitts
    11:40 am May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Matt Jones, do you still have your attorney’s license? This sounds like the perfect job for you!!!



  2. Actual applicant
    11:47 am May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I’m an attorney, out of work, and will apply. I don’t see what’s funny about any of y’all applying…? Don’t be stupid. I don’t apply to your jobs, leave mine alone. Got $1/2 million in debt. Don’t need this foolishness. Need this job. Grow up.



    • Karma
      12:03 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Should have thought about all that debt before you sucked at your last job and got fired.



    • Fake Dave Ramsey
      12:07 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      $1/2 million in debt? You’re going to need several jobs.



    • They should love you
      12:09 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      With half a mill in debt you’ll be easy to silence with money.



    • Haha
      12:24 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      So apply….. with all the other applicants and don’t make a joke of it. Otherwise, smile 🙂



    • Actual Applicant
      12:52 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Actually There a dearth in the market. I make 100K in sales right now, but the law actually provides sense of accomplishment. Karma, how’s it feel to know I’m always going to be better than you, and all u can go around and do is troll. Off yourself, everyone wants it. U r nothing to me. Or anybody.



    • ???
      1:13 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      What law school did you go to where they accepted someone who has such poor grammar skills? “Actually There a”, “provides sense of”, etc. It’s no wonder you can’t find a job as an attorney. Those contracts need to be carefully worded.



    • The Magician
      1:17 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      “Actually There a dearth in the market. I make 100K in sales right now, but the law actually provides sense of accomplishment. Karma, how’s it feel to know I’m always going to be better than you, and all u can go around and do is troll. Off yourself, everyone wants it. U r nothing to me. Or anybody.”

      The above statement could only be written by someone who is the textbook definition of a douche bag. You know someone is insecure when their defense involves telling someone how great they are, how much they make, and how they will always be better than anyone else.

      Douche Bag > Troll any day of the week.



  3. coming in hot
    11:47 am May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I have no legal experience and have only been arrested twice. But that was bogus. Can I apply?? Do you think getting a neck tatoo and sporting a line beard will help in the interview?



  4. SteelyDanny
    11:53 am May 16, 2014 Permalink

    This seems exceptionally juvenile. Even for KSR



  5. Sam Jones
    11:54 am May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Not funny. Seriously Drew. As the above poster points out, the UL rivalry is fun and all, but no need to be engaging in this sort of thing. There are better ways to needle the Cards.



  6. Haha
    12:02 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I for one find this to be hysterical.. I’m not actually going to apply, but the thought of a mass number of UK fan’s trolling UofL makes me giggle.



    • TNO
      2:37 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      12 years old is a fun age.



    • Haha
      3:19 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Yes, it was.

      Get off my lawn.



  7. Grow Up
    12:03 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Completely agree with Actual applicant. I am in the same boat and this is not funny.



  8. ohiocatfan
    12:05 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    This is over the line. Isn’t going to do much to make UK fans look good. This seems like something Hoosiers would so.



  9. UK4Lifer
    12:07 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    NOT COOL. If this were for a job at a UL website that would be one thing. I am all for fun but this is wrong.



  10. Haha
    12:12 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Guys lighten up geez.



    • Haha
      12:12 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      If I get the job with my underwater skydiving degree then you should be mad. Until then Keep Calm The Twins Are Coming (Back).



  11. Hartline
    12:12 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    This is hilarious.

    Those that say it isn’t weren’t readers back in the early days of KSR. Who cares if they receive a few bogus applicants? Two seconds of someone’s job is made better for receiving these trolling applications. Hopefully they will have a good laugh.



    • Haha
      12:13 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Oh I am sure they will haha.



  12. Jay_Postoasties
    12:13 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    HAHA! This is great. Keep up the good work Drew.



  13. MassConfusion
    12:14 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    You’re on a roll Drew, if your thinking and behavior weren’t so juvenile , Matt would no longer need you.



    • Drew Franklin
      1:50 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      I damn near had a lawsuit with a porn star my first six months on the job in 2009. I think I’m going to be ok.



    • Dirk
      1:58 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Drew, she was from Kansas, right? I remember that. Fun times.



  14. A fat idiot baby
    12:23 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Haha so yea check this out guys you’re gonna love it. Alright so there’s this website with a job opening that people would be interested in. Now check this out, you’re gonna love this. Let’s go to that website and make fake applications and say things like “haha poop” and “ding dong” on it haha this is brilliant welp see ya.



  15. MtnCat
    12:25 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    What is pathetic is for any serious outside applicant to think the job hasn’t already been filled. Advertising it is only a formality. A company man has already been identified and informally hired. Get real and give UL your best parting shot, they’ve earned what’s coming their way.



  16. NCAA
    12:43 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I have my eye on you Drewseff.



  17. Saul from New Mexico
    12:54 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Don’t bother to apply, its already been awarded to me. It seems UL needs some legal help regarding that Yum Center deal. Remember if you find yourself in trouble, “Better Call Saul”.



  18. Gap Tooth Danny
    12:57 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    My God Jerry Tipton was right… there is a significant percentage of UK fans that see no humor in ANYTHING, will complain about ANYTHING including boobies, juvenile behavior, photoshops of “the finger”… fer Christ’s sake, STFU!
    If you are this sensitive, please continue writing letters to the editor of L-H-L and just stay off the interwebs!



  19. Just Applied...
    1:00 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Slick Rick
    PHD, Reproductive and Placental Research, Porcini’s College of Class
    Desertation, “Just the Tip: The 15 Second Phenomena”
    JD Law, University of Louisville
    BA, Criminal Justice / Sports Management, University of Louisville



    • beavis
      1:39 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      I think Rick could slide right into the position.



    • butthead
      1:58 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

      Its safe to say Ricks already at the table.



  20. Karen
    2:01 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Checking his briefs



  21. Hoosier Blue Blood
    3:19 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    Maybe rick’s been stepping out and getting in trouble again. Wonder how him and his wife are getting along these days. U of L stands by their man even if it takes a few lawyers



  22. Ricky P
    4:34 pm May 16, 2014 Permalink

    I applied and laughed the whole time. Signed as Ricky 3 Stacks. People need to live a little and not be so uptight.