Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
The Heisman Memorial Trophy will be awarded this week to the most outstanding player in college football and the committee does not have an easy decision. Louisville’s Lamar Jackson was the clear front runner a few weeks ago, and the committee was happy to unanimously award the star Quarterback the coveted college football prize, especially since it meant they could wrap up their work early this year, get some extra rounds of golf in, and tell everyone they were still deliberating.
However, after a late season meltdown, the field has attempted to catch up with Jackson, and therefore the committee was forced to actually reconvene and discuss who should in fact receive the award. Unfortunately, most of the finalists play for teams like Oklahoma that no one watches or cares about.
Therefore the committee has decided, for the first time ever, to honor college football’s best player, but alter the trophy to more accurately reflect the contributions of the winner.
Sources say Louisville’s Lamar Jackson will still be this year’s recipient. However, the trophy will recognize the winner’s flaws by replacing the iconic pose with the pose Jackson struck shortly after doing “the Heisman”, a player giving up a late game fumble (the trophy does not explicitly state that the fumble is late in the game and costing his team the game against a 27 point underdog, but it is heavily implied).
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