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Hawkins, Willis And Mulder All Questionable With Senioritis


Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

It was announced this afternoon that Derek Willis, Dominique Hawkins and Mychal Mulder are all listed as questionable for tonight’s game as they continue to deal with cases of senioritis. Team doctors made available to the media said only that they are hopeful the trio will be available for tonight’s game. “We saw a couple of set backs today when Derek kept telling us about the summer mix CD he’d made to listen to in his Trans Am as he heads to Panama City after graduation,” one of the trainers told us.

“Dominique played really well this weekend, but during practice we’ve noticed shift in focus from how to improve the teams perimeter defense to, ‘Who all’s goin’ to prom?'” But maybe the most telling sign for trainers was when Derek Willis started signing autographs “have a great summer, L.Y.L.A.S.”

Calipari knows that coaching seniors that are preparing to go off and backpack through Europe or get a job can be challenging but he said he likes the experience. “The thing I like about my teams is I keep getting older, and they stay the same age.” Calipari followed up by saying if the cats hoped to win tonight they needed a “freshman 15 and 10 from Bam Adebayo.

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Article written by Harold Leeder

3 Comments for Hawkins, Willis And Mulder All Questionable With Senioritis

  1. Look Out Fireworks
    7:04 pm February 28, 2017 Permalink

    These posts are really not funny.