Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
It has been weeks since the city of Lexington saw a myriad of traffic issues due to rally’s, as EKU hosted one for Andy Barr and President Donald Trump. However, this afternoon a Rally’s based traffic jam happened once again, the likes of which, Tates Creek Centre(pointe) hasn’t seen since Luke Bryan played a concert at Talon Winery.
For over the past month the city of Lexington has mourned after the Rally’s on Harrodsburg road closed its doors for good, returning the once great city to the lowly status of a “Two Rally’s Town.”
The financial aftereffects were drastic as the demotion dropped the city outside of the top 100 most prosperous cities in America list published every year by Rally’s/Checkers Lifestyle Magazine.
Future former Lexington Mayor Jim Gray announced at the Tates Creek Centre Rally’s Ribbon Cutting ceremony that the opening of the restaurant will mark the city’s return to spicy fry glory.
Donning his now signature inside-out Lexington Legends cap, that he’s been calling “My Rally’s Cap,” Gray gave an emotional speech to the new restaurant’s avid supporters.
“If there’s one thing this city needs more than a Rally’s, it’s 3. Every morning I open the paper and read about another restaurant in Lexington going out of business. Last month alone, we saw the closing of a Rally’s AND an Applebee’s, and I started to wonder, when will it stop. How far the mighty appetites of this once great city have fallen, but today hope has sprung on the corner of Tate’s Creek and Man O’ War. Because now, if that Taco Bell and that McDonald’s are too busy, we Americans have another choice. Which we haven’t had since that Long John’s closed. Not counting that chili place I can’t remember the name of,” announced Gray between bites of a Big Buford.
“Look, I know we’re not as famous as Chicago, ‘The Wendy’s City’, but we are a 3 rally’s town and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s something to be proud of.”