CBS says The Masters is “A Tradition Unlike Any Other,” but I beg to differ. Sneaking booze into Churchill Downs is a craft passed down through families from one generation to another. It’s become more difficult throughout the years. Now with metal detecting wands in place, plastic flasks are the working man’s key to a successful, inexpensive trip.
Clear Plastic Bags
You cannot bring booze into Churchill Downs, but you can bring in other essentials like frozen water bottles, sunscreen and snacks. THEY MUST BE IN CLEAR PLASTIC BAGS no larger than 18×18. Not everyone survives the weekend, but a few clear plastic bags filled with food and water will exponentially increase your likelihood of survival.
You may be dismissed for not being “frat” or “classy,” but few clothing items posses more utility than cargo shorts. Nobody wants to walk around holding a plastic bag filled with granola bars. Insert cargos. If for no other reason, cargo shorts can double the number of beers for your walk from the tailgate to the track.
No matter what the weather reports say (currently a 30% chance of rain on Derby day), at some point during Derby weekend it will rain. Even if it isn’t a constant downpour, a poncho may save you from getting soaked when a brief shower hits during the national anthem, like it did last year. The beautiful thing about a poncho is that it fits perfectly inside the giant cargo short pocket.
Oaks Day falls on Cinco de Mayo. Need I say more? I will. Outsiders think Derby hats are for fashion purposes. In reality, it’s to keep you cool and prevent you from getting sunburnt. Be smart. Wear a big hat.