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Ex-Florida NBA players are getting paaaid

When you sign an unreasonably high-priced max deal; via

Ex-players from an SEC school that’s not Kentucky are making ridiculous amounts of money by shooting a ball through a hoop. After this offseason’s salary cap jump from $70 million to $94 million, Florida players Bradley Beal, Chandler Parsons, Joakim Noah, and Al Horford inked deals that total to a whopping $409.8 million smackeroonies.

  • Beal-Wizards: 5-year/$130 million–$26 million/year
  • Parsons-Grizzlies: 4-year/$94.8 million–$23.7 million/year
  • Noah-Knicks: 4-year/$72 million–$18 million/year
  • Horford-Celtics: 4-year/$113 million–$28.25 million/year

Compare that to this list of highest paid players from last season:

Screen Shot 2016-07-03 at 4.01.47 PM

Three former Gators will be paid more next season than Lebron was this season. Let that sink in.

Fresh off being scorned by hometown hero Kevin Durant, Washington’s Beal signing solidifies their future with both Beal and John Wall commanding the backcourt, as Wall’s contract runs through the 2018-19 season. With those two locked down for the near future, and if Beal can stay healthy, expect the Wizards to make the playoffs in the coming years.

Parsons will join Mike Conley, a career non-all-star, who signed the most lucrative deal in NBA history–5 years $153 million(!!!)

UK fans’ least favorite Goonies characterFlorida player joins what could be one of the most interesting teams next year in the New York Knicks. I can see two dramatic futures for the Knicks, who just signed WKU’s Courtney Lee: either they surprise everyone and become serious competition for the Cavs in the east or gloriously floping the most Knicksian fashion. There will be no middle ground. Remember, this franchise is seriously snakebit: only two championships in the past 70 years, and they haven’t claimed one since ‘73.

Jah bless

A photo posted by Joakim Noah (@stickity13) on

Horford is really good. Brad Stevens is really good. This Celtics team will be really good, and KD could still sign.


Article written by Austin Horn

Follow him on Twitter @Lilbighorn23KSR

1 Comment for Ex-Florida NBA players are getting paaaid

  1. Cousins Fake Tooth
    8:17 pm July 3, 2016 Permalink

    …..there is a higher salary cap for next season. So yeah, people will get paid more.