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Entire LEX 18 Staff Mistakes Lee Cruse For An Elf On The Shelf


Editor’s Note: The following was previously published on The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of Fake News You Can’t Count On.

The news team at LEX 18 has been on its best behavior the last few weeks after believing that Sunrise correspondent and leather jacket aficionado Lee Cruse was an Elf On The Shelf.

The confusion began on Cyber Monday, when Dia Davidson mistook a napping Cruse for the popular children’s holiday toy. Rumors of a spy from the North Pole quickly spread around the office, causing several staffers to adjust their behavior to avoid being placed on Santa’s “naughty” list.

“I’m a big believer that Santa is always watching,” said Conroy Delouche. “So when I saw the elf in the studio, even though he was way smaller than all the other Elf On The Shelf toys I’ve seen, I made sure to cut back on some of the rough language I’ve been using, at least until January. No more ‘dangs’ or ‘shoots’ for this guy.”

Once Cruse discovered his coworkers thought he was an Elf On The Shelf, he decided to keep the charade going while pretending to go on vacation.

“I’m glad Lee Cruse was on vacation this week,” said Hayley Harmon. “If the elf had seen the things Lee gets away with around here, he’d definitely be getting coal in his stocking.”

Though many at LEX 18 had fun getting into the Christmas spirit, not everyone was up for having Lee on the shelf at the studio.

“I don’t like this elf thing spying on me man. I’m just saying man, to me, it’s just like another window the government can watch us through, man,” argued Alan Cutler.

This isn’t the first time a vertically-challenged employee has been mistaken for a children’s toy at LEX 18. A few years ago, Bill Meck took pictures of Chris Goodman at all of Lexington’s most famous landmarks, as he thought Goodman was a Flat Stanley left at the studio by students from Liberty Elementary.

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Article written by Harold Leeder