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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Decoldest ToEvaDoIt Crawford commits to LSU

LSU picked up a verbal commitment from a talented wide receiver whose full and 100 percent real name is Decoldest ToEvaDoIt Crawford. A Class of 2022 prospect, Decoldest Crawford made his decision after receiving a scholarship offer during his visit in Baton Rouge over the weekend.

As I’m sure you’re aware, I am only sharing this news to inform you that there is a human being named Decoldest ToEvaDoIt Crawford. I do not know anything about his game or what his commitment means for LSU, nor do I care. I just admire Crawford’s name, and the confidence of his parents.

Congrats to Decoldest though.

***** UPDATE *****

This guy says Decoldest’s middle name is actually Juan, not ToEvaDoIt. (That was pretty unbelievable, right?)

So it’s Decoldest Juan.

The coldest one.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

31 Comments for Decoldest ToEvaDoIt Crawford commits to LSU



  1. StuckinLville
    1:39 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    That’s just ridiculous



    • gobble gobble
      3:21 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      It was either Decoldest or Steve…



    • bluecrowe
      9:33 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      Good Lord, help us all.



  2. Newtype
    1:41 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    I don’t know if I should respect the moxy or to call child protective services for the poor lad.



  3. StillBP
    1:45 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    This kid has nothing on De’coldest Toevadoit LeDocteur, he survived Saturday night in the cold rain.



    • nocode96
      3:38 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      Lol. Nice.



  4. OHCat
    1:53 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Admire? Since this article is strictly about his name then I would say his parents might have wanted to consider how that would look on a resume or how it could be received later in life. It’s unfortunate, but the reality is that if sports don’t work out, names like this can create a perceived negative impact on an individual in the business world. If his parents are fine with creating that built in hurdle then I’m fine with it. But I would hardly call it “admirable.”



    • Bluehender
      2:30 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      They probably never thought about what his name would look like in a resume. What about a boy named Sue? Would you admire that? I mean maybe they named him that because they knew he’d have to be tough. It’s a tough world out there…



    • nocode96
      3:39 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      If I ever have a son, I think I’ll name him….



    • Bluehender
      4:21 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      Bill or George?



    • runningunnin.454
      5:03 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      Anything but Sue…and De’coldest.



  5. meeksfor3
    1:56 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    I have 2 things….First does he have siblings and what is there name? Second, that would be an awesome name if you were an assassin.



  6. DelrayCat
    2:00 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Reminds me of those Key & Peele bits…lol. Classic stuff.
    One example:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gODZzSOelss



    • cats646
      2:44 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      Lol. I thought of the same thing



    • RealCatsFan
      8:17 am October 29, 2019 Permalink

      That video is hilarious!



  7. JPhelps
    2:09 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    We are surrounded every day with more and more evidence that Idiocracy was indeed a documentary!



  8. runningunnin.454
    2:10 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    He should have committed to Minnesota or North Dakota State.



  9. ohiokatfan
    2:34 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Thats Destupidist thing I ever done heard.



  10. GoCatz
    2:45 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    How bout the last name….you can nmae your child anything you want but a last name of ToEvaDolt….is that how it’s spelled….where do you get a last name like that??



    • StillBP
      2:54 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      That was supposedly his middle name, not last. The update says that’s not his middle name. But technically you can change your last name if you really want to. (you can change your whole name if you want)



  11. RealCatsFan
    2:49 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Dang, now I feel let down that his middle name is just Juan.

    But at the end of the day, is this really any worse than naming your son “Chance” when your last name is “Poore”? I mean, c’mon people… 🙂



    • StillBP
      2:55 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

      That is a terribly poor choice in names



  12. Swizzle
    3:30 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    His mom was dedumbest toevernameit



  13. johnnycat
    5:51 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Is his brother ‘DeSecond Chance????



  14. Jesus H. Chrysler
    6:05 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    I’ll Pass on DeColdest Juan, just gimme a Kacosiey



  15. BigBertha
    6:09 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    That is dadumbest name I’ve ever heard.



  16. jcolind
    6:12 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    What a silly name… name alone guarantees irrelevance!



  17. bluecrowe
    10:02 pm October 28, 2019 Permalink

    Good Lord, help us all.



  18. RackEmWillie
    9:05 am October 29, 2019 Permalink

    I’m not sure if this is worse than people who toss X’s into their kids names, just to be “different” while still going with a traditional name. Or if it’s worse than the laundry list of the worst little white girl born to a former sorority member, like Laken or Tinley.

    De’Coldest is at least incredibly unique.



    • TPACAT
      5:31 pm October 29, 2019 Permalink

      Uh, 99% of the time that “X” is a nod to Malcolm…



  19. TPACAT
    5:27 pm October 29, 2019 Permalink

    “Confidence” of his parents? More likely ignorance. This making up names thing is embarrassing and the sad part is the parents and the kid don’t even realize the joke’s on them…