Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
Coach John Calipari spent most of the morning on the phone with tech support after the recommended reboot failed to fix the errors his basketball team had been seeing. The 25 point favorites only ended up beating lowly LSU by seven points which prompted the immediate phone call in the morning.
Assistant Coach Tony Barbee said “He’s been up there all morning, and it’s not pretty. He spent almost an hour shouting ‘Can I speak to an operator’ after the touchtone stuff kept asking him for a serial number. Finally, he got an operator and they said ‘I can certainly understand how blowing a 25 point lead against LSU can be frustrating sir, have you tried rebooting?’ Man, I thought he was going to lose it.”
Barbee said he recommended perhaps simply playing more zone but Calipari was unconvinced. “He said, no we need a tech expert in here, so he called I.T. to help uninstall and reinstall defensive sets.” Barbee continued, “Cal shouted, ‘how do I stop hard drives to the basket?’ and the geek squad guy said ‘sir, to stop a hard drive click on the eject icon and make sure to wait until it is safe to remove the device then simply unplug it.’ I thought it seemed like we were wasting our time but I think Cal was kind of buying into it by the end.”
Reports from today’s practice indicated the team was working on setting up a firewall and using Derek Willis as a proxy server to try and improve team defense.