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Austin MacGinnis Chokes Up After Teammates Finally Invite Him To Tolly Ho


Editor’s Note: The following was previously published on The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of Fake News You Can’t Count On.

It looked like the Wildcats were gonna get snake bit again Saturday night and leave the 50,000 fans in attendance at Commonwealth Stadium in a state of total belief. However, after Mississippi State’s defense scored off a late Stephen Johnson fumble and eventually took a 38-37 lead with 1:09 left, an unlikely hero for the Cats emerged. Kicker Austin MacGinnis, as time expired, nailed a 51 yard game-winning field goal proving that, well, Mississippi State is really, really bad at football.

The 51 yard kick was a career long for the junior and the memory is sure to go into the scrapbook he keeps, the MacGinnis Book Of World Records. The amazing ending, though, was just the tip of the iceberg for Austin. In the midst of all the celebration and chaos that ensued, someone reportedly mentioned to MacGinnis that he could join some of the other guys at Tolly Ho after the game if he wanted to. “I mean, the feeling of the ball going through those uprights was cool and all,” said MacGinnis, “but I can’t begin to describe what it was like to get that invite to Tolly Ho afterwards. It’s what every little kid who aspires to be a kicker dreams of. Making the winning kick and getting asked to join the other players at dinner after the game. You just don’t think it’ll ever happen to you.”

MacGinnis said he’d never been to Tolly Ho, a local hotspot famous for their burgers. “Yeah, usually if it’s still open, our punter Grant McKinniss, long snapper Blake Best and myself head over to Panera after the games and grab some grub. Usually just a sensible salad or a scone or two. And if it isn’t open, we head back to the dorms and use the kitchen in the common area where I make some cups of ramen soup using the recipe passed down by my mom. The secret is to add half of the flavor packet while it’s cooking and the other half after. To be honest, it can get a little wild. One time we used two packets of flavoring in one cup, so yeah, we know how to party.”

While the players were elated to get the win and proud of their teammate for making the big kick, no one could figure out who actually invited MacGinnis to Tolly Ho. “Yeah, it was fine that he was there,” explained receiver Jeff Badet, “but I’m not sure who gave him the invite. We actually weren’t sure which special teams player we invited, we just knew it was that Irish sounding white kid who doesn’t have to do tackle drills. But man, he kept going on and on about how he and his kicking crew have turned their post-game dinners into some kind of book club. Kept bragging about how they were currently reading A Tale Of Two Cities which was cool because Paris and London ain’t that far away. So, we’re obviously trying to figure out who invited him.”

According to other customers, it was easy to tell MacGinnis had never been to the diner before. “First, he tried to come in through that one door on the side of the building even though it plainly says to use the other door. Then, he kept playing Tekken 2 but would only use the kick button. Finally, he actually had the nerve to ask for a free refill of his Pepsi.”

One source says during the post-game dinner, quarterback Stephen Johnson dropped some of his cheddar tots on the ground but MacGinnis jumped in and gave Johnson his extra cheddar tots off his plate. “Yeah, those tots slipped right through his hands,” tells MacGinnis, “but there I was, willing and able to bail him out…again. I was glad to do it though. The night meant so much to me. I actually kept my receipt and put it in the case that the university gave me for the game ball.”

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Article written by Harold Leeder

4 Comments for Austin MacGinnis Chokes Up After Teammates Finally Invite Him To Tolly Ho

  1. distortedview
    7:52 pm October 27, 2016 Permalink

    this might be the dumbest thing i’ve ever read

    • UKBlueGreen
      8:59 pm October 27, 2016 Permalink

      Did you like Rudy?

    • distortedview
      1:45 am October 28, 2016 Permalink

      what the fcuk are you talking about weirdo ? I wasn’t talking to you

    • KSR_Crusader
      7:07 am October 28, 2016 Permalink

      Try re-reading your comments peasant. Then you’ll have a new low! Dues Vult Heathen.