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Alison Lundergan Grimes At DNC Choosing Chiropractor To Fix Crooked Hillary


Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Since earning the status of “War Criminal” because of Libya or something, presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton has noticed something isn’t quite right…with her back.  Former Democratic National Convention chief Debbie Wasserman Schultz explained that it’s Clinton’s crooked back that’s been bothering her, and not her conscience with the allegations of voter fraud and general political corruption. Through all this, in-between allegedly murdering people and treating email like snapchat, Clinton has started suffering from several subluxations in her spine.

However, not just any chiropractor can fix how crooked Hillary has become. So Alison Lundergan Grimes has been tasked with finding not only the right chiropractor, but also the right appointment, because as a secretary, it’s kind of her job.  Though Grimes, an avid Clinton supporter and currently the strongest voice of Kentucky’s Democratic Party, is happy to help the Clinton campaign in any way she can, she is forced to continue to remind the Clinton camp that she prefers the more progressive title Administrative Assistant of State.

Previously, Clinton was absolutely positive she had an appointment with one of the best chiropractors in Philadelphia Dr. Benjamen Ghazi, however both her reminder and confirmation emails got deleted somehow.

Until Clinton can get in to see the chiropractor, she’ll continue to be propped up by the backbones of Michelle Obama and Bernie Sanders.  The two far cooler representatives of the party spoke last night leaving tonight’s schedule open for Bill Clinton to drop some smooth jazz and attempt to not make eye contact with the ladies from the “Mothers of the Movement” group slated to speak later tonight.

Ultimately the convention has started off with a party divided and even Clinton’s closest allies are beginning to admit that Clinton’s back is hard to have.  However, while many at the convention are worried about having crooked Hillary’s back, everyone can agree that it’s not as awful as Donald Trump.

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Article written by Harold Leeder

8 Comments for Alison Lundergan Grimes At DNC Choosing Chiropractor To Fix Crooked Hillary

  1. LolAtThis
    9:27 pm July 26, 2016 Permalink

    ‘insert picture of corn here’

  2. Luether
    11:18 pm July 26, 2016 Permalink

    Lock her up…

    • DelrayCat
      1:59 am July 27, 2016 Permalink

      Your anger is sorely misdirected. The blame for Benghazi as well as the deaths of over 8000 American troops and over a million innocent civilians in Iraq and most of the region falls squarely on the shoulders of George W. Bush and Dick Cheney. After all, it was they who LIED to the world to gain support for their unprovoked, unfunded, ill planned, ill executed, unnecessary war in Iraq that is the direct cause of the ongoing violence in the region, including what happened at Benghazi. Or how about Ronald Reagan who made a highly secret, illegal arms deal with Iran that gave them the weapons they used to gain the power they now have. I have never heard a Republican say a word about those traitorous acts or lies or all the deaths….

    • bluehappypappy
      2:24 am July 27, 2016 Permalink

      I find this article humiliating to the families of those Hillary allowed killed in Benghazi. The blame for Benghazi falls squarely on Hillary!! She had the power to send help for our Diplomat and soldiers…SHE failed to do so, not Bush or Cheney. Don’t forget that Libya was a stable country before Hillary welcomed Isis to takeover. I do hope China or Russia provide those 30,000+ pesky little emails soon!!!

  3. Bobbum Man
    7:56 am July 27, 2016 Permalink

    Sad thing is her supporters don’t seem to care she’s under investigation by the FBI for various things or that they were caught rigging the election or that she’s been caught lying countless times…. a monkey could’ve beaten either of these candidates, they just happen to put the two biggest morons up against eachother

    • chimichanga
      11:05 am July 27, 2016 Permalink

      Morons? No, they are both quite cunning to make it as far as they have. I don’t mean that as a compliment.

    • Bobbum Man
      11:38 am July 27, 2016 Permalink

      Well not really… Trump is a product of everyone being fed up with the likes of crooked politicians like Hilary, and well…. She quite clearly rigged it so I’m not all to impressed with her making it this far. But to ur point yes I suppose to be in the final 2 for president of the United States you have to be half way intelligent…ish

  4. Sticky Ceiling
    9:27 am July 27, 2016 Permalink