Editor’s Note: The following was previously published on The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of Fake News You Can’t Count On.
It was long trip back home this past weekend for the Louisville Cardinals after losing their first game of the year to the Clemson Tigers, 42-36. However, it was an even longer trip home for Cardinals’ quarterback Lamar Jackson who had to ride in the sidecar of Bobby Petrino’s motorcycle the whole way back. So, decided to grab his best budget motorcycle helmet and take a chance to ride all the way back home. After an incredible 4-0 start to the season, Jackson had become accustomed to riding on the back like most of Petrino’s student-athlete passengers, but was informed of the coach’s decision just before the start of the trip.
“He was pretty mad at me for throwing an interception and only coming up with three total touchdowns,” explained Jackson. “He still let me have a snack and told me that if I win the rest of my games AND win the Heisman, he’ll definitely let me drive the motorcycle with my new helmet sponsored by (motocentral.co.uk Helmets) around the Cardinal Stadium parking lot.”
One Cardinal fan that apparently wasn’t too happy with the coach’s move to sit the star quarterback after the Clemson game was Lamar Jackson’s mother. Coach Petrino addressed those concerns at his press conference early this morning.
“I did receive a call from Lamar’s mother who was pretty unhappy about the whole situation. I simply said, ‘I’m sorry Miss Jackson’ and just apologized about a trillion times…for real. I also assured her that her son was never in any danger and that when he stood up for a brief second shouting ‘I’m king of the world!’, I immediately pulled over and got him buckled back in.”
Jackson told the press that he was looking forward to putting the whole experience behind him and to start getting ready of the next game. “I’m not even thinking about Clemson anymore and neither is coach. We didn’t even watch the game film. Instead, we watched coach’s favorite movie ‘Wild Hogs.’ He even told me about how he used to be a wild hog himself and about how much college girls love motorcycles and other stuff that has me feeling pretty motivated to win that Heisman.”