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A Guide To The KSR Debate By A Guy Who Hates Politics

gop-race

Let me be very clear about something, KSR readers. I do not follow politics. Not at all. There are two things Drew Franklin doesn’t do well: politics and Major League Baseball. I just don’t have the time or the interest to keep up. Judge me as you please. I do not care. #TeamNF.

That being said, I am very aware of the importance of the upcoming debate on Wednesday’s show. Matt will have all four candidates from the Republican governor race in studio for the first ever Kentucky Sports Radio Republican Gubernatorial LIVE On-Air Debate (that’s a working title). That’s a huge deal for the show and for the election. You’re going to want to listen to it.

But first, you need to know the candidates, and who better to educate you than me, the guy who knows absolutely nothing about any of them. So allow me to share what I dug up during my Kentucky Sports Radio Republican Gubernatorial Live On-Air Debate prep earlier today.

Meet the men who are fighting for a shot at the throne…

 

Matt Bevin

— He grew up in a small farmhouse in Shelburne, New Hampshire.

— He served four years in the U.S. Army.

— He moved to Louisville in 1999 and started two investment companies: Integrity Asset Management and Veracity Funds.

— He has nine children. NINE. Four of his nine children were adopted from Ethiopia. The family uses a 12-passenger van called “Apollo 12” to get around and I bet it’s full of old Happy Meal toys.

— He wasn’t exactly truthful on his LinkedIn page. He included Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the Education section of his online resume, though he never attended MIT. School officials said the three-week seminar he attended had no affiliation with the the school. (Common mistake, though.)

— He likes to draw cartoons in his free time.

— He’s a Tea Party guy.

— He is the President of a bell manufacturing company, a Bevin family business since 1832. The company’s website sells a Smiley Face Call Bell for only $5.99. (Guess what my mom is getting for Mother’s Day… A Smiley Face Call Bell.)

— He joined the race less than two hours before the deadline.

 

James Comer

— He is from Tompkinsville, Kentucky in Monroe County. Tompkinsville is also home to the Watermelon Festival, Kentucky Living Magazine‘s 2005 Best Hamburger In The State, the Monroe County Marble Club Super Dome and 2012 national champion marbler Paul Davis.

— He is the current Agriculture Commissioner of Kentucky, succeeding one Richie Farmer.

— He has not ordered state employees to build a basketball court in his backyard, to my knowledge. Nor has he used state resources to make Christmas baskets for his family or book expensive hotel stays at the state tournament.

— He is the youngest of the four candidates.

— He graduated from Western Kentucky with a bachelor’s degree in agriculture.

— He’s not loved in Clay County. (That’s Richie Land.)

— He announced his run for governor at the annual Fancy Farm Picnic. And now I’m craving mutton.

 

Hal Heiner

— He is from Louisville and graduated from U of L. (Deduct two points.)

— He worked as a janitor, dishwasher and short-order cook in college.

— He lives on a corn and soybean farm.

— He’s filthy rich, apparently. He dumped four million dollars of his money into his campaign. Man, that’s really going to suck if he loses.

— He develops business parks, including a 300-acre industrial park in Louisville. Matt and I used to work for a TV show there. There is a really good Culver’s nearby.

— He previously served as a Louisville metro councilman.

He knows Tim Tebow.

 

Will T. Scott

— He is from Pikeville.

— His great-grandfather was involved in some of the Hatfield-McCoy fights.

— At 67 years young, he is the oldest of the four candidates.

— He served in Vietnam and is a recipient of the Bronze Star Medal, given to members of the U.S. Armed Forces for acts of heroism, meritorious achievement, or meritorious service in a combat zone.

— He received his law degree from The U.

— He has been married four times; his fourth wife was Dea Riley, a former KSR podcast guest.

— He was the Republican nominee for Attorney General in 1995.

— He’s been a prosecutor, public defender, circuit judge, trial lawyer, and Deputy Chief Justice of the Kentucky Supreme Court.

— He raises and trains his own bird dogs.

— He lives in a log cabin in Pike County.

 

My thoughts on each candidate:

Matt Bevin: He’s from New Hampshire and New Hampshire is next to Vermont and I hate Vermont, so I kind of hate New Hampshire by association. However, that’s a hell of a deal on that bell and I like that his family can run 5-on-5 in the driveway without asking the entire neighborhood. He’s cool by me.

James Comer: I do not have one single opinion of Comer, not one good or bad thought. That’s dangerous.

Hal Heiner: I don’t trust anyone from the University of Louisville. I’m sorry, Hal. Can’t do it.

Will T. Scott: The dude’s old school and he’s a man of the people. He seems like he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty; a bourbon-straight-from-the-bottle kind of guy. And he lives in a log cabin. I like to think he doesn’t have electricity.

 

Give me Will T. Scott and his bird dogs.

 

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

8 Comments for A Guide To The KSR Debate By A Guy Who Hates Politics



  1. 3 fan
    9:09 pm May 4, 2015 Permalink

    He won’t win but without question the best qualified is Will T.



  2. Katya
    9:36 pm May 4, 2015 Permalink

    I hate everything about Hal Heiner. The other 3 seem like pretty alright guys.



    • Deacon
      11:06 pm May 4, 2015 Permalink

      Ask Comer’s college girlfriend if he’s an alright guy. See Courier Journal article today.



    • Katya
      11:23 pm May 4, 2015 Permalink

      I’ll take Obama himself over Heiner.



  3. bosshogg24
    7:49 am May 5, 2015 Permalink

    Politics effects every area of your life 24/7 every day. If you don’t get involved you let inferior people rule you, that’s why we have Obama today voted in by uninformed people who liked his smile!



    • RealCatsFan
      9:48 am May 5, 2015 Permalink

      The big problem with politics is we have stood by and allowed the established parties to become corrupted by outside money. It has come to the point where no one outside the two main parties are really allowed to participate. They cannot even take part in the debates any longer. As long as the “sheeple” continue to play their game and vote for the clown on the left or on the right, they will continue to play their own political games and point fingers at each other while nothing actually gets accomplished. Meanwhile, they are laughing all the way to the bank. THAT is why we are letting inferior people rule us.



    • satcheluk
      1:47 pm May 5, 2015 Permalink

      Big business and SCOTUS’ decision to make business people is the biggest reason we have what we have. Time for campaign finance reform. Give each presidential candidate to spend $100m as they see fit and let the best person win.

      This presidential race is expected to cost upwards of $3BILLION!! That is obscene and absurd. Our system is so f-ed up.



  4. King Kelly Coleman
    8:39 am May 5, 2015 Permalink

    Will T. is the man, super nice guy and knows how to fix some major KY problems.