Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.
At a pregame press conference for the Mississippi State Game Coach John Calipari used the press time to make a statement about his feelings regarding last nights Oscar nominations. Specifically, the snubbing of Valerian: The City of a Thousand Planets for the Visual Effects category.
“I can’t be that surprised that a French Space Opera with anti-imperialist undertones wasn’t a huge hit with American audiences. But you can’t deny the richness of the Sci-Fi environments,” Calipari said.
The movie, based on a French comic book series, was released this past summer and was directed by Luc Besson (Fifth Element, La Femme Nikita.) It failed to make much of a return at the box office and had a mixed reaction from critics.
“It did better did than we did against Florida.” said Calipari shaking his head.
“You can’t judge a movie just on domestic returns. “ Calipari insisted. “You gotta look at Asian and European markets as well. And on a less than Hollywood budget Luc Besson’s effects were worth a BILLION dollars. The man is the French Spielberg.”
He continued. “If you’re giving the latest Star Wars a nod how do you not also show some respect for the series that inspired George Lucas in the first place.” He held up a plastic sealed copy of the original Valerian comic book. After he was through he passed it to assistant coach John Robic who was seated next to him wearing an “Avatar” t-shirt and white gloves to handle the vintage comic.
“Just like my critics want us to play more juniors and seniors the academy only wants to work with sequels and remakes.”
Calipari got out his Blue Ray Copy of Valerian and lowered a projector screen. “Now i want everyone to pay attention to the nuance that Besson gave to each section of this sequence as he guides us through his galactic metropolis.” Calipari skipped ahead in the film to the introduction of The Alpha Station, the eponymous City of a Thousand Planets. “3,236 species over and over 5,000 languages spoken” speaks a spaceship’s computer as the floating city comes into frame. Calipari’s lips were moving in unison with the dialogue of the film.
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