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Tops In Lex Mistakenly Prints Issue With Minority On The Cover

TopsInLex

Editor’s Note: The following was previously published on The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of Fake News You Can’t Count On.

Collectors of extremely rare magazines, get ready; perhaps the rarest magazine of them all is set to be given away for free along with those buy/sell/trade auto magazines at a grocery store near you beginning this summer.

That’s right, Lexington’s “priceless” magazine, Tops In Lex, announced this week that due to a printing error their next issue will feature a minority on the cover, a rare occurrence for the publication. The release will break the magazine’s current streak of 22 straight issues with an extremely white person on the cover.

“I’m really looking forward to picking this one up,” said Pierre Blase, a rare free magazine collector from Lexington who spends most of his days navigating his local Kroger taking free samples and telling the cashier “don’t ring that up, it’s free.”

“It’s a special moment for any rare free magazine collector when you can get your hands on an issue that’s as difficult to find as this one will be,” said Pierre as he asked a deli clerk when they would have more free samples of Dad’s Favorites Asiago Tomato available. “Don’t get me wrong, I love Tops In Lex. I’m probably their best ‘customer’. But it’ll be refreshing to see a cover without someone like former Vice Mayor Jim Gray or future former Women’s Basketball Coach Matthew Mitchell on it.”

There’s still no word on exactly how the printing error occurred. Our source told us things like this just tend to happen sometimes. “There’s only so many times you can search ‘white dental assistant’ on Shutterstock,” they said.

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Article written by Harold Leeder

5 Comments for Tops In Lex Mistakenly Prints Issue With Minority On The Cover



  1. whack0001
    7:35 am August 12, 2016 Permalink

    I understand this is satire and meant to be funny but why put this trash on this website? I get bombarded with enough racial bullshit.



    • Billy Hill
      3:23 pm August 12, 2016 Permalink

      My impression of whack0001: “😢😢😢😢😢😢”



  2. Bobbum Man
    12:04 pm August 12, 2016 Permalink

    ??????



  3. Nahforrealdoh
    3:30 pm August 12, 2016 Permalink

    As a fellow (I assume) Democrat, please give it a rest. The relentless SJW pandering isn’t going to change any minds in 2016 any more than the guy on the corner of a busy intersection with a “god hates fags” sandwich board is going to win followers.

    Just be a person who treats others well and points out when people are being, you know, actually malicious or racially degrading.

    When you butter your comedic bread by nitpicking on the level of finding one particular magazine in one town that features “too many” white people in one of the demographically whitest states in the country – you’re essentially the lefty version of the obnoxious conservative uncle who drops 15 “thanks Obama” jokes before the stuffing even makes it out of the kitchen. He thinks he totally nailed it, and everyone else thinks he’s a dumbass.



    • Caliparty09
      4:28 pm August 12, 2016 Permalink

      -1