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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

The Men of

By now you’ve heard about, the new dating website for Kentucky fans. The online dating service will go live on July 15th, but it opened today for users to begin creating their profiles.

While creating mine earlier this afternoon, which will surely get me at least half of a date, a glitch in the system gave me a sneak peek at some of my competition in the Man Seeking Woman category. And let me tell you, there are several recognizable faces looking for love around Big Blue Nation. I copied some of the profiles to share with you here on KSR tonight so you know what you’re up against when the matchmaking begins in two weeks…




Occupation: Country Music Star
Age: 49
Height: 5’8
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: No
Smokes: No
Favorite UK Player: I’m a Willie Cauley-Stein man
Favorite UK Moment: When Kentucky Joe sang to Aaron Harrison outside the Craft Center
The Perfect Date Is: Kentucky Joe singing to his lady

About Me: I work for Kentucky Sports Radio with Matt Jones.



Occupation: Professional Basketball Player
Age: 23
Height: 6’4
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: Occasionally
Smokes: No
Favorite UK Player: Doron Lamb
Favorite UK Moment: 2012 National Championship
The Perfect Date Is: Eat with D. Lamb

About Me: Ladies if you not bringing anything to the table then I can’t talk to you then Period. I don’t have time for girls to be acting me for stuff and u can’t help me. You can’t have no car live with your mom and no money that crazy ladies. I can’t talk to a girl like that im sorry. That a turn off when a girl wear to much makeup.



Occupation: ESPN Basketball Insider
Age: Private
Height: 6’3
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: Occasionally
Smokes: Other reporters in scoop
Favorite UK Player: Not Andrew Harrison
Favorite UK Moment: Losing to Wisconsin in the Final Four
The Perfect Date Is: Sitting around a box of wine in a candlelit room, critiquing Andrew Harrison and John Calipari. Preferably with Bill Self at the Peach Jam.

About Me: Sources tell me things.



Occupation: College Basketball Coach
Age: 55
Height: 5’9
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: Often
Smokes: When I’m drunk
Favorite UK Player: Mark Coury
Favorite UK Moment: Winning the Cancun Challenge, sleeping with college chicks
The Perfect Date Is: Merrick Inn

About Me: I once coached at the University of Kentucky. Now I am at Ranger Junior College in Texas. Whatever you’ve heard about me, it’s probably true. Sorry for partying.



Occupation: Kroger Courtesy Clerk
Age: Private
Height: 5’7
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: Never
Smokes: Never
Favorite UK Player: Dan Issel because he scored 53 points against Mississippi on February 7 in 1970 and then he scored 51 points on February 21, 1970.
Favorite UK Moment: Meeting Jack Givens at the KSR pregame show
The Perfect Date Is: Smashburger

About Me: I’m a conservative and my Kroger schedule is 5-10 on Saturday and 3-6 on Sunday.


Dancing Guy

Occupation: Dancer
Age: Private
Height: 5’7
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: No
Smokes: No
Favorite UK Player: Billy Idol
Favorite UK Moment: Second half TV timeouts
The Perfect Date Is: Toss and turn and feel all right

About Me: Moves like Jagger



Occupation: Yahoo! Sports Writer, Habitual Calipari Hater
Age: Private
Height: 5’10
Wants Kids: No
Drinks: When Kentucky loses
Smokes: When Kentucky loses
Favorite UK Player: None of them
Favorite UK Moment: Every one of Calipari’s losses
The Perfect Date Is: Hanging out with Rick Pitino

About Me: DTF

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

21 Comments for The Men of

  1. cris
    8:53 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    Pure gold Drew!!

  2. Laura
    10:44 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    OMG! Now I must register!

  3. Jessi
    10:45 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    The funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Kudos on burning Forde and Goodman.

  4. Hilarious
    10:50 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    “perfect date: Eat with D.lamb” that was priceless

  5. J Maxey
    11:28 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    Hell nah man! You’ve out done yourself this time!!

  6. Jewelielou
    11:36 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    The only thing that could have made this post better is if Drew included a parody of himself in it.

  7. duh
    11:38 pm July 2, 2015 Permalink

    This is great. I love the Jeff Goodman and Pat Forde profiles. I think Forde and Goodman should go out with one another. I bet Rick Pitino could get his old buddy Pat a table at Porcini’s.

  8. Justin
    12:17 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Wait. I thought John was a liberal…sure sounds like one on the radio..

  9. LawyerJoe
    12:25 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    It finally happened, the Sugar Daddies of the Bluegrass now have a place to meet young virgin women…. I just hope they do not hit on adolescent girls under the age of 16 while looking for sex.

  10. C-man
    1:49 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Requires edit. Under BCG, should state:

    Wants Kids: No but will take commitment from 11 year old recruits.

  11. Dee W.
    2:56 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    So many people want to use this site that it has had to be shut down to add more server capacity.

    “You All Are Amazing!
    Thanks For All The Love! We Know You’re Anxious To Signup.

    Seems Our Datacenter Underestimated The #BBN. We’ll Be Back Online Soon!”

    • justlooking
      2:56 pm July 5, 2015 Permalink

      That’s what happens when you set up on the cheap and use godaddy

  12. BluKudzu
    6:37 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    SMH. The possibilities of children being spawned from this should make the earth shake. This truly is the next step in the new Blue World Order.

  13. Eyebleedblue
    6:47 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Best post ever.

  14. Jason
    9:24 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Kentucky dating site was a dumb idea.

    • Dee W.
      4:22 pm July 3, 2015 Permalink

      Why? And what do you mean “was”? It’s brand new.

  15. Billy Ray
    10:01 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Will they allow a D pick as my profile?

  16. Connie Martin
    10:57 am July 3, 2015 Permalink

    Real funny making fun of an individual with special needs. Dancing guy is a special Olympic champion so lay off.

    • catdaddyd
      12:37 pm July 4, 2015 Permalink

      Didn’t make fun of him. Geez, loosen the tampoon.

  17. Eric
    5:17 pm July 3, 2015 Permalink

    The only person with special needs on this list is Billy Gilispie.

  18. catdaddyd
    12:39 pm July 4, 2015 Permalink

    Where’s Mickie DeMoss?