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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

We’re from Kentucky (and we like it that way)

Nearly a week later and I’m still wrapping my head around the 50,000+ Big Blue butts packed into Commonwealth last weekend for the Blue/White Game. Fiddy-k, for a spring football game in Lexington, on a hard turn off the Bluegrass Stakes, not to mention what went down the last time we gathered here.

It was a dreary, cold, desolate scene at Commonwealth last November. Rain turning to sleet, sleet turning to rain, life turning to shit. Even the trusty soft pretzels were underperforming.

Touchdown Vanderbilt. Why was I here? Touchdown Vanderbilt. I pulled out a beer that I hadn’t bothered to hide and security hadn’t bothered to notice. I’d have happily said “screw it,” and returned to warm confines if they had, because this wasn’t going down sober.

At the end of the first quarter I’d seen enough. My ass was chapped both literally and figuratively (a particularly ruthless combo), and I walk-of-shamed it out of the Commonwealth like I had for every game that season–with more cups than I came with vowing never to return again. It was the lowpoint from a program swallowed by a sinkhole, cursed by the Bear.

So when, not 4 months later, the sun shined bright on 50k strong, it truly was an unimaginable sight. It reminded me of the whole Gillispie debacle/Cal miracle–the one where Mike Porter walks into a phone booth and in an instant, emerges as John Wall. Just an immediate injection of all things right.

Really, how’d they pull it off? Clean weather, yes, aggressive marketing campaign centered on the breath of fresh air to an asphyxiated fan base, absolutely. The uptick in recruiting, a winning last name behind the wheel saying all the right words…but fiddy-k?


 Enter Neal Brown and Air Raid 2.0.

 We Cayuts fayuns need to hear the words “up-tempo” like a woman needs “love.” For one, It’s in the DNA of our basketball program, and you’ll never convince me the sport should be played any other way. Tubby’s annual off-season up-tempo decree was obviously dangerous tact. If you promise it and don’t deliver it, well, passive aggressive BBN evolves into something real. And irrational. Downright spiteful. And crazy. So, so crazy.

 Yes, all Fans want to win. That’s why we’re here. Dubyas. Even at the expense of style points, if need be. But is winning ugly sustainable this day and age?

Here in the BBN, I’m not sure. Winning be damned, deep down we’re all hankerin’ for FAST PACE! We breed it into our thoroughbreds, we shop at Wal-Mart riding electric buggies, we do really dumb stuff on ATV’s, because fast is better than slow.

If a fellow fan in your office is having a bad day, press em. Guard em for 90 feet then come down and hoist up a threeeeeee. Or, chuck the pigskin around 60 times, but don’t forget about that deep ball. And offer ’em half your Cymbalta, I know you got some.

Would 50,000 have shown up if we’d hired Butch Jones? Good coach, not sexy.

We hold special reverence for Pitino’s Bombinos–not just because they were out-sized and undermanned and hailed from the same towns and hollers as our kinfolk–it was the way they scrapped and clawed, pressed and gunned their way to nearly 90 points per game. They won half of them.

Hey, remember the 1999-2000 team that won 23 games?

Before the hammer dropped, Hal Mumme might as well of been Bill Walsh. The salad days of 4-6 wins a year with Big Ten basketball scores and fun-in-the-sun screen n’ gun. Fake punts on 4th down inside your own 20? Oh, that’s just Hal bein Hal! Free endzone passes just to get the ball back? It’s Air Raid bitch.

THE GUY GOT HIS OWN STREET!  Hal Mumme got a street named after him folks, a distinction he shared with the likes of Martha Lane Collins, Isaac Murphy, Henry Clay and Jalen Rose.

 Where’s this all going you asked like six paragraphs ago? This may seem obvious, but isn’t that the point? What is the point? Exactly. We want fast-paced football just like we want up-tempo basketball. And there’s plenty of BIG DATA supporting the argument that Kentucky needs fast break football to have a puncher’s chance year in and year out.

And that’s why last weekend 50,000 of us quit life to watch a scrimmage. To hear that Air Raid siren again. To taste the salty softness of the rejuvenated jumbo pretzel. To believe in football, to believe in ourselves. Look, we’re not kidding each other. Odds are certainly stacked against a sterling record in the near future, but the Air Raid…the Air Raid people, the Air Raid.


John Dubya is special to KSR, and to everyone he meets. Formerly known around here as Intern, he’ll be popping in from time to time to let you know what is up. @JohnAWilk 

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk

28 Comments for We’re from Kentucky (and we like it that way)

  1. Dr. Funke
    3:08 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I love a high powered offense, but you don’t need an air raid style to do it. Joker’s 2007 pro-style offense was the best in the SEC. Sometimes it depends on the players you have.

  2. crazycatfan
    3:10 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    GREAT POST!!! Loved the John Wwll comment … too funny!

  3. RICK
    3:13 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Its all about the players, if you aunt gotem you aunt goin win in the sec.I am fired up about this coaching staff but they better get players.

  4. mattd
    3:14 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I enjoi your writing style. Delivered like a speech, informative, witty, and easy to digest. Well done.

  5. Kennybuckets
    3:20 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Intern (I mean…John Dubya) is the best there ever was. More please. Thank you.

  6. Matt
    3:22 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    If you could take over between 100-150% of the writing load currently shared by Corey and Flener that would be great. Nice post.

  7. WestWorld
    3:26 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Enjoyed the read….

  8. Al's IndiCats
    3:27 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I like the way J-Dub’s going, funny, out of the way, and then straight to the point….Go J-Dub!

  9. Jordan
    3:30 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    If you want some more Air Raid history, Chris Brown at Smartfootball wrote a awesome post awhile back.

  10. So true
    3:35 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    #6 haha you beat me to it. Could not agree more. “It’s Air Raid bitch”= instant classic.

  11. JB
    3:43 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I think you may have stumbled across an easy solution to some of our problems with having SEC speed. Tape cheetahs to our players’ backs!

  12. Mattt with 3 ts
    3:44 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    #6 – hilarious, yet, true.

    This, ladies and gentlemen, is creative writing – well, sort of. Does this article seem like a breath of fresh air because KSR pollutes the site with excessive amounts of “take-up space” articles? Yes, KSR serves its purpose. Yes, Drew and Tyler do a good job. Yes, Matt always prefaces his posts by creepily posting pictures of females. Yes, only one person found those bachelor articles to be worth something more than a piece of three-day-old dog poo (hint: it’s the “author.) Yes, it’s almost a guarantee 95% of the daily posts concern Andrew Wiggins. Then, yes, this article was a breath of fresh air.

  13. Flipisatrip
    3:45 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    The intern is back! If ya don’t know him, step ya game up

  14. Plain Clothesed Man
    3:50 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    “It’s Air Raid bitch.” I laughed my ass off!! Was he drunk when he wrote this? If so, pour another and get back to writing. I love this.

  15. ChemCatUK
    3:53 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I always knew Rose Street was named after Jalen. Hilarious!

  16. Brian
    4:10 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Absolutely the best article in a long while. Love it. Full of piss and vinegar… and a few explatives. Good stuff, just like the spring game. We had a blast and I got goosebumps when I first heard the sirens. They need to be louder though.

  17. smh
    4:34 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Y’all might want to quit swinging so hard from my man’s johnson…he might need it to take a leak

  18. STEVE!
    4:48 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Loved the enthusiasm. I’m pumped!

  19. Gabby Johnson
    4:49 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink


  20. Todd
    5:00 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    The intern has returned to KSR, glad to see he’s back and out of the clandestine program , very talented and funny dude.

  21. Will
    5:18 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Some great old school KSR. Site used to be 20% news and 80% entertainment. Those numbers have completely flipped in the past 2 years. Still love the site and visit multiple times a day but love to see some of the “original stuff”

  22. jdneedstoknow
    5:24 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Was it your DeLorean parked outside the Joe Craft Center?

  23. Jarweed
    5:36 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    This is the original Intern, back for the win. This intern has a history of running hot and cold. One post will be ripping apart the Gators or the Vols with much hilarity and fun for all, but the next may be a brutal misogyny piece on a woman who writes the arts and leisure section for the Herald. Real Jekyll and Hyde type of dude.

  24. Biff Switters
    6:14 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    I can remember Cawood’s call on the Kentucky vs. Duke 1992 game, and the 31 pt comeback against LSU in February of 1994 or the 1. I remember watching the Cats demolish Tennessee 100–40 in 1993 when they held Allan Houston to 3pts. I have a very vivid memory of the U of L game in 1998 when Couch and Co. won 68-34. I was housing tobacco in Fleming Co. and listening on the radio. I remember exactly what I was doing during the radio call of Couch to Yeast to beat Bama also, I can even remember the 90+ yard bomb from Couch to Yeast on the 1st series against Florida in the Swamp that year. My most vivid positive memory of recent UK football history was the 2007 LSU game when Braxton Kelly made the stop on 4th down. I wholeheartedly agree with the fast-paced argument put forth in this article. I also believe that while football will never reign supreme in our state school (we all know which one is our state’s school) there’s absolutely no reason that we can’t be good year in and year out in both sports. I don’t want us to get ahead of ourselves, but give it time if Stoops and Co. do begin to have success within a few years’ time I hope that Mitch, the fan base, and the financial powers that be make it happen for the University to retain Stoops for a long time…either as long as the Cats are relevant with the pigskin or as long the program, the university, and Coach Stoops have mutually shared interests. For that to happen I think we only need to begin winning and be ready to pay to retain services whenever other schools come calling. The fact that we’re an SEC school should help. I would even pay an annual goodwill tax starting now to raise money for his salary when the time comes. BBN #1!!!

  25. Comment
    7:08 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    24. ^RT

  26. Rockbottom70
    7:26 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    This was a fun read and I wholeheartedly agree!

  27. JBCat
    7:59 pm April 18, 2013 Permalink

    Nice work, John Dubya!

  28. LP
    10:47 am April 19, 2013 Permalink

    Dubya, I think most fans come to KSR because it offers great content – not because it offers great writing. This is the first post of yours I read. Based on this post I’d say KSR is very lucky to have you. Great peice of writing and keep up the good work!