In the infamous words of the brilliant prophet himself, Jimmy Buffett, “Maybe I’m sane and everyone else has gone crazy.” That’s precisely how I feel sometimes when I stop and think about what has transpired in the world of late.
Call me old-fashioned, but I remember watching cartoons and thinking, “will the coyote ever order an Acme product that can stop the roadrunner?” Not anymore. Today, it looks as if a cartoon is primed to initiate World War III. I’m sure Al Michaels shares my sentiments after he was “traded” to NBC for none other than Oswald the Lucky Rabbit. The pre-Mickey Walt Disney creation has been in the hands of NBC since the 20’s, but will now be hopping over to his rightful, Disney-owned conglomerate. Fate works in mysterious ways. Look for Disney himself to thaw out of his frozen slumber in time to create a new series, “The Oswald Rabbit Club” just before sweeps.
It used to be in the past that, no matter how absurd the world becomes, you can always count on Kentucky basketball to thrust you back into reality. Instead, ‘Cats fans are pouring their cocktails half-empty as they look ahead to September 2nd, the dawning of a rejuvenated pigskin program. Meanwhile, in Knoxville, the ‘Vols are sleeping off their disastrous football season hangover with the help of their 11th ranked basketball team. Huh? Up the road in Louisville, it appears as if Ricky P is stymied by the competition in the Big East, and for the first time looks quite helpless in the process. Allthewhile, Bobby Petrino is trying to think of new ways to tell Al Davis “no”, and brought in a gem of a recruiting class of his own.
Maybe I am the crazy one. Perhaps I’m just too young and impressionable to grasp the fact that anything is possible. Yet, when I see that the two leading scorers in the NCAA this year are unassuming, Caucasian, and not named Bird, I scratch my head in bewilderment. The leading scorer for the 9th team in the country is named Pittsnoggle; Randolph Morris had an agency working for him and was still allowed to play college ball; Rajon Rondo couldn’t hit a wide open 10 footer if his rims depended on it, yet is still projected as a lottery pick; we have to hold a “civilized” trial for Saddam Hussein; Dr. Phil is more famous than Allen Greenspan; Joe Lunardi has a Ph.D?; there’s a show on primetime called “Wife Swap”; they just now discovered an uninhabited island in New Guinea; Jerry Tarkanian has a gym floor named in his honor; Ted Kennedy still has a liver; and people still think we care about the Winter Olympics (or summer for that matter).
So I agree with Jimmy…the world is losing its mind all around me, and all I can do is try and maintain my good sense. Although our basketball team seems destined to be forgotten, it could be worse (Baylor…Louisville, Wake Forest), and maybe Homer Simpson will again overtake Muhammad as the most popular ‘toon in the world. And maybe, the ghost of John Wayne will make a cameo at the Oscars and take a stand against “overly friendly” cowboys. So don’t go crazy Kentucky fans, because once you lose sight of the bigger picture, you forfeit your sanity.
“cause there’s booze in the blender, and soon it will render that frozen concotion that helps me hang on.”