That Fan
And now, a word from the ‘basketball guru’ that sits a couple rows behind you in Rupp…
NBA? Shoot, they need to be worried bout UGA.
They call em free throws for a reason, guys–they’re FREE! You put me out on that floor right now and I’ll make 9 outta 10. Bet.
Press! PREEESSS! PRESS EM CAL! FULLCOURT PRESS!
Shoot the dang ball! Can’t nobody shoot the dang ball anymore. Put me out there on that court right now, I’m not sayin I’ll get to the rim every time but I’ll make an open jumper, believe you me.
This team takes the FUN and MENTAL right outta FUNDAMENTAL. All you’re left with is a bunch of DA. That’ll getcha beat.
No I won’t sit down grandma, how bout you stand up?! This is a ballga—oh, sorry, didn’t see the wheelchair…that thing got a lift on it?
LICK MY ICE CREAM CONE, VALENTINE!
Man I still can’t believe Eddie Montgomery closed his steak shop. Best sirloin in Kentucky, with all the ambiance to boot.
Wonder which rapper’s gonna be the Y tonight? DJ JOE B, hahaha…yeah saw that one on the facebook.
Boom. What I’d tell ya? Told ya that play would work. Been sayin it all night.
Getcher head outcher ass, TV TEDDY!
One and done? More like One and DON’T!
See, back when I was coachin we’d always curl our best shooters off the elbows. No coincidence that we won so many church league titles. Welcome to Basketball 101.
Right there, yup. Told ya that’d be there. Been sayin at all night.
Here’s the thing about neoliberalism in the context of institutional economic complexities…THRREEEEEEEEEE
28 Comments for That Fan
…fail
…ure of epic proportions.
Or this one…”that blonde dancer on the end has been trying to make eye contact with me all night. She wants me, no doubt!”
John Dubya… Keep em coming. Good stuff. Your post about a day at Keeneland last Fall was an all time favorite and Instant classic!
Shoot the three, shoot the three. I don’t care if it is five seconds into the possession and you are a ten percent shooter.
I think #1 (A fan) might be That Guy if he thinks this is a fail. This is spot on, and I am pretty sure i have heard every single one of these in person.
Wake me when somebody on this site isn’t making a really pathetically lame list, talking about TV shows or praising Obuma……..Guess I’m in for a long, long nap…….Jerkweeds.
Please, don’t use “liberalism” and “economic” (or anything akin to it) in the same sentence – it’s paradoxical.
Very true…
Please learn the difference between liberalism and neoliberalism before you post, dumbarse.
Nailed it as usually j dub
Swing and a miss….
Couple were pretty funny but overall nuthin ur grammy would bend over for.
see the best part about this is it’s making fun of the clown coaches that flood the KSR comment sections after everuy UK loss too. it’s great
Awesome.
I agree with it sounds like the arm chair coaches in the comments here on KSR. Dead on Mr. Dubya. Bravo! Funny, too, cause it’s true.
I might have to borrow a few of these!
forgot this one ………Honey! It’s Rob Bromley ! go askem if he wants to come back to the ramada with us !
Awesome
I feel like you hit a few of these commenters right where they live. Be careful–if you mock them too accurately then even more will pretend as though they are never coming here again
Brilliant, approaching Tomlin territory. A few posters above are obviously butt-hurt about having their own statements overheard and then posted on KSR.
Good post Dubya, enjoyed it.
You also forgot, “Why doesn’t Cal put Willis in? We’d be up by 50 if he would just play Willis.”
Awesome. It sounds like you were sitting near me at the last game and creeping on the guy right behind me. I lost it on the neoliberalism one – hilarious.
Well done Dubs!
“Get the ball! Good Lord, they’re out of shape! I hope Cal has them running suicides at 2 AM at Memorial! Lazy SOB’s.” {belches while polishing off the last of his 16 oz Bud and licking the buffalo wing sauce from his stubby fingers}
LOVE IT! hilarious!
I don’t mind the people yelling out stupid stuff. I like the passion from the fans and to make fun of that comes off as condescending and pretentious, you are insulting the fan base that visits this site. Now, I don’t like the fans that come to the game and discuss everything but the game, which happened to me the last game. They talked through the whole first half and most of the second half about everything else but the game. Annoying.
This was great! A good parody of some (most?) of the people who post in the comments section a well. “Why are they in class when they should be shooting free throws?”