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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

That Fan

And now, a word from the ‘basketball guru’ that sits a couple rows behind you in Rupp…

 

NBA? Shoot, they need to be worried bout UGA.

They call em free throws for a reason, guys–they’re FREE! You put me out on that floor right now and I’ll make 9 outta 10. Bet.

Press! PREEESSS! PRESS EM CAL! FULLCOURT PRESS!

Shoot the dang ball! Can’t nobody shoot the dang ball anymore. Put me out there on that court right now, I’m not sayin I’ll get to the rim every time but I’ll make an open jumper, believe you me.

This team takes the FUN and MENTAL right outta FUNDAMENTAL. All you’re left with is a bunch of DA. That’ll getcha beat.

No I won’t sit down grandma, how bout you stand up?! This is a ballga—oh, sorry, didn’t see the wheelchair…that thing got a lift on it?

LICK MY ICE CREAM CONE, VALENTINE!

Man I still can’t believe Eddie Montgomery closed his steak shop. Best sirloin in Kentucky, with all the ambiance to boot.

Wonder which rapper’s gonna be the Y tonight? DJ JOE B, hahaha…yeah saw that one on the facebook.

Boom. What I’d tell ya? Told ya that play would work. Been sayin it all night.

Getcher head outcher ass, TV TEDDY!

One and done? More like One and DON’T!

See, back when I was coachin we’d always curl our best shooters off the elbows. No coincidence that we won so many church league titles. Welcome to Basketball 101.

Right there, yup. Told ya that’d be there. Been sayin at all night.

Here’s the thing about neoliberalism in the context of institutional economic complexities…THRREEEEEEEEEE

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk

28 Comments for That Fan



  1. A fan
    9:39 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    …fail



    • Rod Steele
      10:16 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

      …ure of epic proportions.



  2. Knowitallfan
    9:39 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Or this one…”that blonde dancer on the end has been trying to make eye contact with me all night. She wants me, no doubt!”



  3. Demarky Mark
    9:51 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    John Dubya… Keep em coming. Good stuff. Your post about a day at Keeneland last Fall was an all time favorite and Instant classic!



  4. Threeball
    9:54 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Shoot the three, shoot the three. I don’t care if it is five seconds into the possession and you are a ten percent shooter.



  5. GoCats2
    10:02 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    I think #1 (A fan) might be That Guy if he thinks this is a fail. This is spot on, and I am pretty sure i have heard every single one of these in person.



  6. Rod Steele
    10:14 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Wake me when somebody on this site isn’t making a really pathetically lame list, talking about TV shows or praising Obuma……..Guess I’m in for a long, long nap…….Jerkweeds.



  7. self-aggrandizing drivel
    10:23 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Please, don’t use “liberalism” and “economic” (or anything akin to it) in the same sentence – it’s paradoxical.



    • Bunny
      10:28 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

      Very true…



    • degrowther
      7:25 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

      Please learn the difference between liberalism and neoliberalism before you post, dumbarse.



  8. Goukcatsgo
    10:23 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Nailed it as usually j dub



  9. Sorry but...
    10:23 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Swing and a miss….

    Couple were pretty funny but overall nuthin ur grammy would bend over for.



  10. Seven Ate Nine
    10:28 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    see the best part about this is it’s making fun of the clown coaches that flood the KSR comment sections after everuy UK loss too. it’s great



  11. Tomlin
    10:32 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    Awesome.



  12. Plenty
    10:59 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    I agree with it sounds like the arm chair coaches in the comments here on KSR. Dead on Mr. Dubya. Bravo! Funny, too, cause it’s true.



  13. Liked It
    11:02 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    I might have to borrow a few of these!



  14. GrottoFalls
    11:30 pm January 23, 2014 Permalink

    forgot this one ………Honey! It’s Rob Bromley ! go askem if he wants to come back to the ramada with us !



  15. Matt Jones
    12:18 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    Awesome



  16. Heeb McGinley
    1:21 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    I feel like you hit a few of these commenters right where they live. Be careful–if you mock them too accurately then even more will pretend as though they are never coming here again



  17. CATandMONKEY
    1:30 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    Brilliant, approaching Tomlin territory. A few posters above are obviously butt-hurt about having their own statements overheard and then posted on KSR.



  18. yesterday's wine
    5:24 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    Good post Dubya, enjoyed it.



  19. AnthonyBBN
    8:02 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    You also forgot, “Why doesn’t Cal put Willis in? We’d be up by 50 if he would just play Willis.”



  20. MrJohnsonUK
    8:16 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    Awesome. It sounds like you were sitting near me at the last game and creeping on the guy right behind me. I lost it on the neoliberalism one – hilarious.



  21. LT
    9:12 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    Well done Dubs!



  22. bmack
    11:02 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    “Get the ball! Good Lord, they’re out of shape! I hope Cal has them running suicides at 2 AM at Memorial! Lazy SOB’s.” {belches while polishing off the last of his 16 oz Bud and licking the buffalo wing sauce from his stubby fingers}



  23. bluebloodtoo
    11:03 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    LOVE IT! hilarious!



  24. Melvit
    11:12 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    I don’t mind the people yelling out stupid stuff. I like the passion from the fans and to make fun of that comes off as condescending and pretentious, you are insulting the fan base that visits this site. Now, I don’t like the fans that come to the game and discuss everything but the game, which happened to me the last game. They talked through the whole first half and most of the second half about everything else but the game. Annoying.



  25. CapitalH
    11:22 am January 24, 2014 Permalink

    This was great! A good parody of some (most?) of the people who post in the comments section a well. “Why are they in class when they should be shooting free throws?”