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SEC Slant: Week 6

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HT: Gate21.net

Reminisce

Bama 17 Kentucky 14:
What we learned at Bama, besides the fact this is the Trevard Lindley farewell tour, is Kentucky can beat good teams even without playing flawless football. Much like last season when Kentucky beat LSU without the services of Rafael Little and Keenan Burton, the program proved they need not rely on gimmicks and luck to churn out an SEC win. There is depth on this team and playmakers at most positions. Still, the offense continues to look awkward and un-rhythmic, as if they’re at a middle school dance trying to conceal their boner, but the emergence of Mo Grinter and utilization of Locke in the passing game provides hope. Disapointing 3 point loss in T-Town…oh how far we’ve come.

Vandy 14 Wo’ Eagle 13:
It’s a neat story, it really is. At this rate, Disney will crank out the movie sometime around 2015. That will allow plenty of time to develop a love story, an antagonist, and a manuscript with forced southern drawl.
Continuing their formula of not dominating–just making things happen–ok, I was trying to avoid the obligatory swipe at their academics, but they really do play some heady, disciplined ball–the Dores made the right defensive adjustments, or perhaps, Auburn made the absolute wrong offensive adjustments. After lining up in the Pete Dye friendly two back set for most of the first half, the Auburn offense actually looked serviceable. Then they reverted back to the Spread Eagle, and lawsy, how inept it truly is. It’s almost like opposing coaches know exactly what Tony Franklin is going to do.
With a staggering turnover ratio and an utter refusal to shoot themselves in the foot, Vandy will happily grab that dubya if you leave it dangling long enough. Taking after the basketball team: hot start, can they finish? It’s going to take a lot more than Shan Foster rain drops and Matt Frejie fadeaways to topple the likes of Florida, Georgia and Bama.

“I caaaan’t wait, to plaaaay, in Shreveport.”

South Carolina 31 Ole Miss 24:
The Ole Miss let-down was predictable, but South Carolina’s offensive surge was not. QB Chris Smelley’s career performance was expertly timed, as young-gun Stephen Garcia appeared to be a shoe-in to take the job. The return of WR Kenny McKinley helped open up the passing game, and with the help of some fateful Rebel turnovers, the Cocks come away with a huge, huge win.

Studs:
QB Chris Smelley, SC: 22-32 for 327 yards, 3 TD’s 1 INT.

QB Mackenzi Adams, Vandy: 13-23 for 153 yards 2 TD’s, 53 rushing yards.

LB Braxton Kelly, UK: 13 tackles, 1 TFL, and 1 FF.

RB Jeffrey Demps, UF: wee freshman flash had 103 yards on 7 carries…didn’t know Florida had a running back.

SS Emanuel Cook, SC: 14 tackles, 8 by his gat-damned self.

Foreshadow

Carolina @ Kentucky
The SEC social ladder can generally be diced like so: the big dogs, the middle rung, and the doormats. Most years, the big dogs fight it out for the BCS and the doormats provide the necessary nutrition and employment for the 3 Daves. The middle rungs, in the meantime, play bowl game musical chairs, with only so many spots for a growing number of worthy teams. As far as middle rung showdowns go, they are especially heavy in significance, and this one is no exception. A must win for both teams, whose parallels are glaringly similar: inconsistent to bad on offense, exceptional on defense. The Cats have to be a bit startled with Carolina’s offensive explosion last week. All-SEC receiver Kenny McKinley is back from injury and heads what is shaping up to be one of the best pass catching units in the conference. TE Jared Cook is a top NFL prospect, and freshman Jason Barnes has thrown his hat into the ring with Julio Jones and AJ Green. As for Smelley, he has the arm, but has crumbled under the weight of the visor many times before. Both teams are susceptible on the O-Line, and neither club has been able to get much consistency from the running game. You can bet the Cocks will throw the kitchen sink at Hartline, mixing blitzes, disguising coverage, much like they did to Woodson last season, so Kentucky has to generate some first downs via the run. The Cocks will need a gem from Smelley…oh hell who am I kidding, they’ll just need that magical playbook Ol Ball Coach dusts off only for the Kentucky game every year.
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“9 iron, huh? Well, you’re fired.”

Vandy @ Miss St
The official “don’t crap the bed” campaign begins for the Dores as they face everyone’s favorite laxative.

Tennessee @ UGA
Georgia has revenge on the mind, a much better football team, and home field advantage…but can they rock?

Arkansas @ Auburn
It remains to be seen whether Tony Franklin still has play calling duties, or a job, but they get the perfect week to feast upon the lowly Hogs.

LSU @ Florida
This matchup has produced classics of late, and this year should be no different. LSU can reclaim some of that Bama thunder and set themselves up nicely for another run at the title. Same story for the Tebow and the Gators who’ve fallen out of national graces a bit since the Ole Miss loss. Have D-Coordinators finally caught up to Tebow? Is Urban Meyer still a bit too cutesy? Can Florida stop the smashmouth? Whatever happened to Smashmouth? Did they take their checks from the Shrek soundtrack and simply go home?

Pa-er Rankins:
1. LSU
2. Alabama
3. Florida
4. Georgia
5. Vandy
6. Kentucky
7. Auburn
8. South Carolina
9. Ole Miss
10. Tennessee
11. Miss St.
12. Arkansas

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk