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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

SEC Slant: Week 12

Vanderbilt 31 Cayts 24
I would like to assume the following:
-Commonwealth Stadium has never before hosted a feat quite like D.J. Moore’s 2 catch/2 TD maiden voyage at receiver.
-Commonwealth Stadium has never before hosted a feat quite like 3 punter’s-a-roughing.
-Commonwealth Stadium, our fair Stadium, has never before hosted a feat quite like starting punter out-gaining starting running back.
I would like to, anyway…

Florida 56 Cocks 6
Ascending to such a lofty level of trendiness at this juncture is often a death wish, but just when you think they’ve prematurely peaked, they go out the next week and run even faster, hit even harder. As much as I’d like to buck convention and await an imminent Florida meltdown, the bottom line is overpowering: Excluding the ever-curious Ole Miss no-show, Florida has played 6 currently bowl eligible teams to the tune of 287-59. It’s been a USC vs. Pac 10 type of year.

LSU 40 T-Roy 31
If you were like me and holding your own personal “blackout”, you might’ve missed LSU’s miraculous, if not inexplicably belated surge to erase a 28 point hole with only 15 1/2 minutes to play. I would like to think no LSU fans committed murder before the comeback. I would like to, anyway…

Georgia 17 Wo’ is Eagle 13
A.J. Green’s 2nd game winning TD catch in two weeks to all but conclude Auburn’s bowl aspirations. With basketball season looming, Auburn fans can now devote their full attention to speculating Tuberville’s replacement.


Who do you want me to play at quarterback? And you can’t say me…ok, you can. Say me, say me

Bama 32 Sly Dawgs 7
It’s being reported Tide RB Glen Coffee was benched late in the 2nd quarter, for smiling. An excerpt from the post-game presser:
Reporter: Coach Saban, how do you keep your kids from not looking ahead to Florida in the SEC Championship Game?
Saban: The what now?
Reporter: The, uh, the SEC Championship Game. In Atlanta, against Florida.
Saban: (soul-burning stare)
Reporter: You know, Dr. Pepper, dome, Golden Fla…
Saban: Let me make one thing clear, I have not even looked at our remaining schedule. Ok? The schedule we put up in the practice facility is formatted like an advent calender. And we do not cheat. The doors stay unopened until we’ve already played this week’s opponent. Understood?
Reporter: Right, yes. Just thought you might remember taking LSU there a couple times…
Saban: Look, if we’re going to talk about LSU then we’re all done here.

Ole Miss 59 Greg Monroe 0

Studs:
WR Percy Harvin, Florida: probably started with, “coach, I think I want to try running back fulltime today.” Ended with 167 rushing yards and 2 TD’s. Harvin’s 9.2ypr leads the nation.

CB etc. D.J. Moore, Vandy: 3 catches, 2 TD’s, 2 INT’s, 4 tackles. Moore’s 6 INT’s this season tie UT’s Eric Berry for the SEC/NCAA lead.

QB Chris Nickson, Vandy: 15-27 passing for 155 and 3 TD’s. Added 118 rushing yards on 20 carries, because, well, why not?

CB Javier Arenas, Bama: racked up 153 yards on 6 punt returns, including an 80 yarder for a TD.

P Tim Masthay, UK: led Kentucky in punting, second in rushing.

Next Week:

Tennessee @ Vandy
Vandy has asked for volunteers to fill in the stadium. And you don’t even have to be a UT fan.

Citadel @ Florida
Ok, Citadel’s 1AA status keeps this one off the books, but hypothetically, what are we looking at here? True, the focus might not suit up until halftime, and the players will be at the club Friday night, but Tebow’s evening of game film, tuna fish, and McGee and Me, impels the Gators to triple digits…Urban is the consummate style-point fashionista.
Detroit Lions
Florida Gators +7

Ole Miss @ LSU
Kentucky fans clamoring for a bowl in the Eastern time zone need the Rebs to stumble.

Arkansas @ Miss St
The Hogs can bowl eligibilize itself with a win here and at home against LSU Turkey Weekend.

Pa’er Rankins:
1. Bama-look, I know they’re #2, but I cannot and will not compromise my firm stance against dropping teams after wins.
2. Florida-

2. Florida
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1. Bama
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3. UGA
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4. LSU
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5. Cocks 6. Ole Miss. 7. Vandy
8. UK
9. Arkansas 10. Auburn
11. UT-Knoxville 12. Miss St.

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk