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SEC Slant: Week 1

Like Syllabus Day in college, Week 1 in the SEC is generally an effortless preamble with brief lectures and tell-me-a-little-bit-about-yourself’s. But every year there are a few emboldened coaches and AD’s looking to weed out the weak and just-happy-to-be-here’s with a thorough lesson plan or pop quiz. These professors typically have no time for the english language and fully expect everyone to have already purchased the textbook. As a student there is nothing worse, but as a fan it’s nice to see the UGA’s, South Carolina’s, LSU’s and Bama’s of the world out there mixing it up with fellow BCS opponents on little to no sleep. But this is the SEC, where 90,000 people show up for intra-squad scrimmages and fans gripe all week about the lack of push from the 4th string running back and the execution of the QB kneel. Whether thrown to the fire or setting up shop on a cupcake, it’s just good to be back.

The SEC finished 11-1 in week 1, including 5-1 on the road.

South Carolina 7 @ NC St. 3
You expect sloppy, sometimes you get filth. Still, a huge win from the underdog Cocks, and a helluva performance out of a defense that wasn’t supposed to be able to contain State QB Russell Sheppard.

WKY 7 @ Tennessee 63
You knew Kiff intended on making the proverbial statement and he certainly had the necessary victim. QB Jonathan Crompton bested his entire TD production from last year with 5, though 2 picks against Western? But I nitpick because I hate. RB’s Montario Hardesty and Fr. Bryce Brown both went over the century mark and should be the focal point of the offense going forward.

Jackson St. 7 @ Miss St. 45

Mizz. St. 10 @ Arkansas 48

La Tech 13 @ Auburn 37

UGA 10 @ Ok. St. 24
This was a tough ask for a team trying to overcome the loss of Stafford/Moreno, and UGA had their chances but ultimately ran out of gas and playmaking ability. They also lose starting OL Trenton Sturdavent to an opening day ACL for the second year in a row.

Kentucky 42 @ Miami (OH) 0
It’s been said already, but this game only highlights the complete fail that was last year’s WR corps when Lyons when out and Cobb moved behind the center. MVP to the O-line, who provided Hartline as much time as he needed to make his improved throws and sealed the corners for the speedsters in the backfield.

Chas. So. 3 @ Florida 62
Failed to cover.

Va. Tech 24 @ Bama 34
Great game between a pair of defensive powerhouses and BCS hopefuls with a surprising number of “shootout” qualities. New QB Greg McElroy was obviously a touch anxious, but Tide fans have to love the production from the RB’s, with starter Mark Ingram paving 150 yards on 26 carries and backup Roy Upchurch exploding for 90 yards on just 7 carries. The Bama D, when composed, shut down Va. Tech’s inept offense (Tyrod Taylor is an awful, awful QB).

LSU 31 @ Washington 23
Not terribly impressive and probably alarming to LSU fans who expected a thorough sauteing of last year’s worst team in major college football, but anytime you have to travel that far it’s just nice to come home with a W stashed away in a clear transparent ziplock baggie. Wash QB Jake Locker is the beggar’s Tim Tebow and probably the 3rd best QB LSU will face all season, still, yielding 478 yards to a team who hasn’t won since ’07 is inexcusable and a major cause for concern.

Western Carolina 0 @ Vandy 45

Ole Miss 45 @ Memphis 14

WR Terrance Toliver (LSU) — Caught four passes for 117 yards and two touchdowns in LSUs 31-23 win at Washington.

RB Mark Ingram (Bama)– Rushed for a career-best 150 yards on 26 carries and added 35 yards receiving on three catches. In fourth quarter, rushed for 81 yards on 10 carries and a score and had 18 yard TD reception.

RB Onterrio McCalebb (Auburn)–the true frosh’s 148 on 22 carries is the most ever by an Auburn freshman, topping the record held by Bo. Good company.

LB Eric Nor”wegian”wood (SC)–5 solos, two sacks and two fumble recoveries.

CB Trevard Lindley (UK)– 3 def, 1 INT, TD

Pa’er Rankins:
1. Florida
2. Alabama
3. LSU
4. Ole Miss
5. South Carolina
6. Georgia
7. Tennessee
8. Kentucky
9. Vandy
10. Arkansas
11. Auburn
12. Miss. St.

This week:
Troy @ Florida
UCLA @ Tennessee
Florida International @ Alabama
Mississippi State @ Auburn
South Carolina @ Georgia
Vanderbilt @ LSU

This week’s slant was brought to you by
Cool. Crisp. Cancerous. Beary Necessary.

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk