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SEC Slant

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Don’t provoke big bro.
Courtesy of Clay’s Daze…follow the link for THE BEST pictures in Kentucky Football

Three games into the season, and I have scored as many offensive touchdowns as Notre Dame. Doesn’t get much sweeter than that. But back to relevancy…A growing number of “experts” are beginning to pronounce the SEC as a battle for 2nd place in each division, and while Florida and LSU are certainly on a different level at the moment, remember that the season is still infant in a league brimming with parity. You simply cannot coast through this conference on sheer talent alone any longer. Don’t forget how difficult it is to win on the road, and never underestimate the power of the proverbial “trap week.” All it takes is one upset folks; one upset to cue the dominoes. On to the slant…

Kentucky (Louisville W 40-34)–There will be plenty of analysis from this game throughout the week (lifetime) so I’ll keep it succinct, but what a statement by the Cats. So Louisville isn’t a top-10 team, as DLJ so eloquently stated, but you can bet UK won’t be forced to corral an offense as dynamic as UofL’s but a couple of more times this season, maybe. There are still some holes on D, but this much is true: you might be able to slow this offense (LSU, UF, SC), but you’re not going to completely shut it down. Try this stat on for size: UK is 16-16 in the redzone this season. I don’t care who you’re playing, that’s phenomenal.
Next Game: @ Arkansas 9/22

Florida (vs Tenn W 59-20)–It’s still early, but Florida’s dismantling of the Vols hoists the belt-holders into the status of legitimate threat to repeat. Urban Meyer’s brand of the spread option is a devastating puzzle of innovation which has yet to be solved by defensive brain-trust. Quarterback Tim Tebow (patent # EP1043582) continues to display jaw/panty-dropping ability, accounting for 4 TD’s and passing for 299 yards on just 14/19 completions against the Vols. Seriously, what if Florida pulled a basketball team and made it 2 in a row? All I know is, if I were a student at UF these days, I’d be on the Van Wilder plan. How many excuses to riot can one student body have?
Next Game: @ Ole Miss 9/22

Tennessee–Eaaasssy Phil, you’re playing awfully close to the edge there big fella. There’s no 3,000 mile excuse here as the Vols were absolutely housed in the Swamp. I’ll admit that I didn’t see any of this game, but 37 rushing yards on 21 carries paints a pretty vivid image. We all know Ainge is a player, but that’s a moot point if they can’t muster better than 1.5 yards per carry. In all my years on this earth, if nothing else you could count on the Vols to dominate the line of scrimmage. That’s not happening anymore, and you have to wonder how close this locker room is to disaster. The good news: they’ll basically have three weeks to prepare for UGA. Talk about a must win…
Next Game: Arkansas State 9/22

Mississippi State (@ Auburn W 19-14)–Well, if you can scrounge up 213 total yards of offense and still win at Auburn, then who needs to be good? Our favorite gunslinger, Michael Henig, went down in the first quarter with a broken throwing hand, a devastating injury for SEC defenses. This game was your daddy’s brand of football: 89 total rushing attempts, under 150 combined passing yards, seriously, how could our father’s watch such drivel? The Big 10 called and wants their unoriginality back. Regardless, a huge, perhaps job preserving dubya for Sly Croom, who no doubt celebrated in style at Starkville’s trendy club district, aka Applebee’s.
Next Game: Gardner-Webb 9/22

Auburn–War Eagle officially plummeted from lazy weed smoker to violent meth addict with this latest home loss, their 2nd in a row. With an absolutely savage schedule ahead, you have to wonder how bad it’s going to get for Auburn and head coach Tommy Tuberville. You just can’t lose to State at home, you can’t. Shambles.
Next Game: New Mexico St. 9/22

Who knew Britney Spears and Auburn football had so much in common. Think Bama fans are enjoying their debacle?

Darren McFadden Arkansas (@ Alabama L 41-38)–What’s worse about the devastating loss at Bama is their defense was exposed. In what just might be the best SEC game you didn’t see, the Hogs stuffed the box and forced Bama to beat them through the air, which delighted Tide QB John Parker Wilson who torched the Hogs for 327 yards and 4 TD’s. Wilson is good, but only a touch better than Andre Woodson’s left nut. McFadden carried 33 times for 195 yards and 2 TD’s against a good defense solely focused on him, and when he was made mortal by cramps, stable-mate Felix Jones chipped in 96 yards. QB Casey Dick did throw 3 TD’s, but remains vertically inept, something this offense so desperately needs.
Next Game: Kentucky 9/22

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2nd in the West, to answer your question, Nick.

Other Scores:
Vanderbilt 31 Ole Miss 17
LSU 44 MTSU 0
Georgia 45 Western Carolina 16
South Carolina 38 SC State 3

SEC Pa’er Rankings:
1. LSU—Is a 44-0 win over MTSU kind of like saying you’d beat Louisville 85-10?
2. Florida—Might Urban get all “Billy Donovan” on us?
3. South Carolina—F****n Spurrier.
4. Kentucky—Can you outscore ‘em? Are you sure about that…?
5. Alabama—They’re only going to get better.
6. Arkansas—“McFadden takes the snap. He drops back, and he’s going to throw it deep, down the sideline to…McFadden, who hauls it in, plows the corner and winks at the safety, and he’s gone!” Seriously, they should try that play.
7. Georgia—Beating up on a bad 1-AA team certainly isn’t telling, but might be just what they needed.
8. Tennessee—What else can be said except that the defense is poo-er. Better get that figured out, or we could be witnessing the violent resignation of King Fulmer.
9. Vanderbilt—Sure, the Rebels are dreadful, but a road win’s a road win.
10. Mississippi St—Not sure which is more amazing: the fact that they beat Auburn or that Auburn lost to them.
11. Auburn—Nothing like a home loss to Miss St to officially announce that you suck. Did Dynasty Defenders copyright “Drain the Tub?”
12. Ole Miss—Orgeron might as well start coaching this team via the Internet or something.

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk