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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

SEC Slant

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Well, it was another frustrating road trip this weekend, but unlike the stank armpit that is Columbia, SC, Athens offered a healthy respite from my sorrow. It truly is the textbook college town, loaded with culture and history and absolutely brimming with brunette bombshells. And when Vandy failed to put away the Vols, everybody in blue morphed into a semi-celebrity. However, the time spent b/t the hedges was puzzling, infuriating, and downright unfair. Still, we must realize that “Everybody Hurts,” be patient “‘Til the Medicine Takes,” and kick back and enjoy the conclusion to this maniaical football season.

Kentucky (@Georgia L 24-13)—Let’s not kid ourselves, this game could’ve been put away in the first half. If Kentucky is able to put up the first 17 or 20 points like they should’ve, we’d have seen a lot less Knowshon, and lot more plays to be made by the hawkish secondary. The defense was spectacular, limiting Moreno to a fairly quiet 120+ without allowing that crowd pleasing homerun. But even though Woodyard was busy doing his best Mike Singletary impression, Andre Woodson was playing a convincing Shane Boyd. There was literally zero help from the running game, but Woodson missed open recievers and took several needless and costly sacks. It’s the 3rd offensive dud in a row for Kentucky, a truly troubling truth. There is no excuse to come away with 3 points after the first quarter with the weapons this offense has. NONE.
Next Game: Tennessee 11/24

Florida (FAU W 49-20): If Tim Tebow does not win the Heisman, the injustice would rival the great “Charles Woodson interception” of ’97. The term “freak of nature” is grossly overused in sports, but would be grossly understating Tebow’s talent. He’s a literal defiance of science, becoming the Earth’s first 20/20 player with 20 rushing TD’s and 26 throwing thus far. His 20 on the ground sets a new SEC record, which is astouding when you think about the collection of Hall of Fame running backs to come out of this league. I know its become almost cliche to overstate Tebow’s ability, but he really is unlike anything that we’ve ever seen on a football field, and if Urban would let him play LB, they’d surely be heading back to Atlanta.
Next Game: Florida St 11/24

Tennessee (Vandy W 25-24)—You lucky SOB’s.
Next Game: @Kentucky 11/24

Arkansas (Miss St W 45-31): Surprising absolutely no one, Houston Nutt is done in Fayetteville. Surprising absolutely everyone, QB Casey Dick threw 4 TD’s in the Nutt/McFadden/Jones home Swan Song.
Next Game: @LSU 11/23

LSU (@Ole Miss W 41-24)—And cue the distraction. With Lloyd Carr dunzo in Ann Arbor, UM homer Les Miles is about to embark on a lying through the teeth escapade. Of course, none of us know if he’ll actually even be Michigan’s first choice, but it’ll be interesting to see how it effects the team as they inch closer to the BCS.
Next Game: Arkansas 11/23

http://www.albanyherald.com/Images/Miles_eps1.gif
“Ann Arbor is back that way.”

Alabama (UL-Monroe L 21-14)—Hilarious. There’s a Visa commercial parody in here somewhere. Really, wtf Curry Saban?
Next Game: @Auburn 11/24

SEC Pa’er Rankings:
1. *LSU—a lot less Les in the near future?
2. *Georgia—bleedin’ blue
3. *Florida
4. *Tennessee—disaster averted
5. *Auburn—will the coaching carousel reach de Plaines?
6. *Kentucky
7. *Miss St
8. *South Carolina
9. *Arkansas
10. Vanderbilt
11. *Alabama—shameful
12. Ole Miss—thankful they’ll have Vandy to watch all the Bowl games with this year.

*Bowl Eligible

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk