The Vols are poised to steal the SEC East, then sell it to support their meth addiction
LSU’s punched their ticket to Atlanta, who’s comin’ with em? Wins over Vandy and UK hoist the Vols back into national relavance, while Florida fans are all about some Kentucky these days. With 40+ points in each of the last three games, Georgia scorches into the top 10, but must win out and hope for a Tennessee hiccup to get a ‘backyard’ shot at LSU. In a season full of excitement and devoid of logic, the closing weeks of the SEC will be rife with drama, implication, and Vern Lundquist.
Kentucky (@Vandy W 27-20)— What it lacked in vanity, the Vandy win more than compensated with significance: with the seventh dubya, the Cats are assured a Bowl (at least one worthy of a pilgrimage), a crucial victory in the throngs of a formidable homestretch. It’s obvious the offense has played sans the mojo in the past two efforts, a puzzling predicament to say the least. I fully expect the Joker Phillips Machine to find their rythm in the waning weeks, but they’ll have to do it against the two hottest teams in the league.
Next Game: @ Georgia 11/17
Tennessee (Arkansas W 34-13)— It appears the dismissal of aptly named LaMarcus Coker may have been a case of my favorite sports cliche, addition by subtraction. Stable mates Arian Foster and Montario Hardesty are holding down the run game, while the maligned defense suffocated Darren McFadden and generated a heap of turnovers.
Next Game: Vandy 11/17
Georgia (Auburn W 45-20)— Racking up 40+ on a matador Florida D is one thing, but hanging 45 on one of the top defenses in the land is truly eye-opening. Freshman RB Knowson Moreno has sent the league a memo detailing his desire to stay upright and in the endzone at all times, laughing as pure-bred LB’s shred their dignity and ACL’s attempting to line him up. Combined with Sr. stud Thomas Brown, the UGA backfield has blossomed into juggernaut status, giving the golden-armed Matthew Stafford plenty of open shots downfield. Speed, speed, and more speed on this roster. Look out BCS?
Next Game: Kentucky 11/17
South Carolina (Florida L 51-31)— My, my, my, Steven. Fourth loss in a row. Putting the offense in the hands of Blake Mitchell is like giving your taxes to Shagari Alleyne, which makes me picture Big Shag in a green, plastic visor methodically pecking away on a calculator, and that makes me laugh. And what about that blue ribbon defense responsible for that polished 6-1 record a month ago? Figured they’d at least be able to hold Tebow to 6 TD’s. Perhaps the 4 straight losses can be rectified by a second consecutive Liberty Bowl win.
Next Game: Clemson 11/17
Mississippi St (Alabama W 17-12)— Get up off’a Croom! Ol’ Sly once again symbolically ‘dusted the haters off’ with his second straight win over the Tide, putting his team into the postseason in the process. I mean, just think back to opening week and the cruel and unusual nature of the LSU game. Simply an amazing run from the Bulldogs.
Next Game: @Arkansas 11/17
“You wanna get to Atlanta? You gots to go through me!”
SEC Pa’er Rankings:
1. LSU—one step closer to that championship “home” game
2. Georgia—best offense in the nation the past three weeks
3. Florida—alright Tebow, uncle…and Heisman
4. Tennessee—starting to play some football at this basketball school
5. Kentucky—capable of winning out, equally capable of getting blown out
6. Miss St—6 wins, 6 well deserved MGD’s in Sly Croom’s belly
7. Auburn—best 4 loss team in the nation = Special Olympics bronze medal
8. Alabama—getting Croomed is a lot easier if you just lay back
9. Arkansas—22 pass attempts? Why?
10. South Carolina—slip-slidin away
11. Vanderbilt—just too Vandy for a bowl
12. Ole Miss—comfy in the basement
Sometimes it hurts having that Heisman bulls-eye on your back, eh Colt?