I awoke this morning to the news that the House was shifting back towards the ‘left’, and the Senate may soon follow. Needless to say, I was a little Chafee’d. Oh well, at least it will be amusing to sit back and watch as Nancy Pelosi transforms Speaker of the House into incessant-bitchin’-constant-nagging chit-chatter of the House who only likes to talk when the game’s on or when love making has commenced. Among yesterday’s winners was NC Rep. (D) Heath Shuler. If I were on Captial Hill, I would have fun with this one:
Shuler: Fellow congressman, I would like to discuss the dire need for more…
Rep A: Federal spending on the public school system in rural North Carolina.
Shuler: Uh, yeah.
Rep B: Congressman Shuler, it looks like your idea has been, intercepted.
(subsequent high fives all around)
Among the losers: Pa-Sen. (R) Rick Santorum, who always looks like he’s still doused in stripper stank and Dewar’s; and Harold Ford Jr., proving that Tennesseans are still scarred by Al Gore’s turn towards psychosis and asexuality.
“Kevin, do you want the Grand Slam or not? Why do you have to be so difficult on our anniversary?”
From the trailer park…or the Malibu hills
Call it too good to be true. A bona fide fairy tale that seemed destined for “happily ever after.” Love took a huge hit yesterday when Britney Spears announced that she is indeed divorcing K-Fed. The couple recently welcomed their second child together, probably named Houston Cash or something along those lines, and Britney wants those too. This is a huge risk for Britney, as she undoubtedly enjoyed K-Fed’s residual checks from the “I Can’t Stand the Rain” video, but I guess if you wear wife-beaters long enough you eventually take on the part. You know that if Britney wasn’t a “singer” she would be working at Super Cuts and dating slum-contractors, right? Just making sure.
The bitter truth about U of L
Much debate among the talking heads of college football about Louisville. Analysts appear split on whether U of L deserves the title game if they indeed win out. Now, I hate Louisville in more ways than Paris Hilton likes to take the D. However, if Louisville concludes the season as the only other unbeaten (the other of course being the OSU/Mich winner), then why is it even a debate? Sure, the Big East is about as competitive as the North Korean textile industry, but it is a BCS conference. As I see it, if you’re going to designate a conference as a BCS one, and they make it through said conference without a loss, and only one other BCS team has done the same, shouldn’t those two schools play for the BCS Championship? If the Big East is considered far inferior to the other BCS conferences (and it is), then don’t call it that. But until then, you have to give them an equal shot. Of course, this will all be moot after Rutgers pounds out a win tomorrow night.