Adam Williams, we hardly knew ye
Question: How does Williams warrant a scholly offer before he can drive, but one-time Ky. prospect “Juice” Mayo does not? Tubby? Hobbes? Joker? Bueller? Anyone…
Williams will now transfer to the land of Lexington anonymity, joining the likes of Jason Lathrem, Oliver Simmons, Bernard Cote, and Nate Knight. Hey, at least you have proof of your blue and white existence…something you can always whip out in your future skirt-chasin escapades, or embelish to your grandchildren one day.
Ex-Senator enraged by ‘roids
In an attempt to elevate himself to humanitarian status, former Senate majority leader and current director for the BoSox, George Mitchell, will head an investigation into the MLB steroid probe. Impeccable timing Bud Selig, what’s next…a probe into the causes of polio? Or perhaps you would like investigate the rise of Fidel Castro into power, especially since Cuba dominated your organization in the World Baseball Classic. Quit wasting our time with your feeble efforts to make yourself look concerned and compassionate. If Selig really cared he would have nipped this in the butt before Sammy Sosa made us believe he was good.
Here’s all the proof you need Buddy Boy: Before After
Did anyone watch Bond’s show on ESPN last night? Bonds was brought to tears as he talked about the scrutiny he faces on a daily basis. However, no real tears actually materialized, as the mass amounts of ingested growth-horomones prevent him from acting ‘girly’.
Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio?
In other baseball news, Jimmy rollins extended his hit-sreak to 38 games today. Wait a minute, 38 games? More like 2 games. I’m sorry Jimmy, but when the season is done, so is your streak. If a stat like this can carry over from year to year, then Rob Gidel’s “cold-streak” is actually at six months, rather than three like he claims.
Eagles QB Donovan McNabb and LB Jeremiah Trotter were both found guilty today of parking in a handicap space. Each were ordered to pay a few hundred in fines, or, in NFL terms, toilet paper. McNabb tried to argue that he was indeed crippled, but the judge ultimately ruled that not having a “clutch” bone was insufficeint to the case.