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Greatest Show on Earth


Another chapter of SEC football draws nigh; 13 straight Saturdays (with the occasional ‘look-at-me’ Thursday nighter) of pure pigskin paradise. Will the SEC make it 8 national championships in a row? The short answer is ‘probably,’ the long answer is ‘yes, probably.’ Be thankful you were born unto a team with SEC allegiance, folks. Whether your team is chip leader or perennially short stacked, you’ve still got a seat at the table. As we speak, babies are hatching in places like New York, California, Ohio, and Shively, who will live entire lives devoted to some NFL bureaucracy and the Big 10 and will one day plan road trips to places like Piscataway, NJ and East Lansing, MI, never tasting the sweet n’ spicy origins of collegiate football as it was meant to be, birthed from the loins of Mary herself…Mary Bryant that is, mother of the Bear.

SEC football is a damned circus. 

A whistlestoppin, grandstandin, travelin freak show of overindulgence and slow-cooked hostility barreling down the tracks at speeds never before seen or imagined. Parading through otherwise idyllic College Town, USA, with its acrobats, marching bands, Clowneys, exotic animals, magic and illusions while its patrons hoot n’ holler with plastered on southern charm that’s instantaneously transformed into frenzy. SEC football was once the greatest show in the South, now it’s the greatest show on earth.

On paper, its value is in the billions but in reality, there’s not enough ink. There’s oil money, coal money, textile money, corporate money, smart money, new money and money so old it predates the books. On paper, it’s a series of showdowns among member institutions of higher learning, and that’s funny. For its investors it’s an arms race to an undetermined finish line. It is, quite simply, the ultimate measuring stick of superiority. A barometer of life itself. There are no pro-sport allegiances here to supplement bragging rights, and dueling is still illegal in most parts of the South. Victory, you see, is much more than another notch on the needlepoint belt.

SEC football is beautiful.

From the stately brick and lush green campuses and all those sundressed lassies, the troughs of bbq and deep fried anything, to the sight of 90k boozy parishioners gathered on hallowed grounds surrendering to the whim of unpredictability.  A confluence of righteous and evil, of sophisticated and simple, of khakis and jorts, of folk heroes and scoundrels, of statesmen and Bubbas. A little bit NASCAR, a little bit country club, with a  strong pour of the boondocks on top.

A storybook of athletic marvel coached by characters straight out of A Confederacy of Dunces. More than a league but a battle hymn sung from down in Dixie to the Rocky Top, through the Plains and in Between the Hedges. This is the trailhead to the National Championship. And it’s a damned circus.


Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk

23 Comments for Greatest Show on Earth

  1. Demi Moore
    8:48 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Looks like Ashton Kutcher

  2. Ryan
    9:17 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Kudos to JW. That is as well written a piece as I’ve read on this site. A site that delivers more than it’s share of good writing. From Hotty Toddy to War Eagle, Geaux Tigers to Roll (Damn) Tide, there is nothing like it.

  3. moyockcat
    9:25 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Very good article, well written. Hopefully in the next few years we can get a little better seat at that football table.

  4. Costa Rica
    9:25 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    7 in a row for the SEC? Daggone. That number must really irk the other football coaches and conferences. Unless my math is off, so far 72 players have committed to SEC schools from Rivals top 250 football players, and 96 have committed to the rest of the country. That’s dominance. Top players from CA, OH, IL, AZ, NC, OK, MN & DC all coming to play in the SEC.

  5. chicago cats
    9:28 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Hey, off topic, but does anyone know what the exact date is for tickets going on sale for the Champions Classic. All I can find is October of 2013, but it’s so close I feel like there should be an exact date by now. Go Cats!

  6. Chaz
    9:39 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Nice writing John. ELP takes me back to the 70’s, roughly the same time Art Still was beating on quarterbacks like Carl Palmer was pounding the gongs.

  7. The other SEC teams
    10:18 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Dear Kentucky,

    Please stop telling everyone your a part of the SEC. You’re embarrassing us.

    -signed, the real teams of the SEC.

  8. Blue Jesus
    10:54 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    7. Come on now, at the very least you should be thanking us for providing you with a third bye week in your season for the last few years… okay the last few decades for the most part. Now that’ll be changing here shortly, and then you’ll wish for your Ole’ Kentucky Home back.

  9. Seriously
    10:58 pm August 29, 2013 Permalink

    Is it just me or did that artist think its the mizzou bears instead of tigers..just sayin

  10. Jeff
    12:09 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    I saw Emerson Lake and Palmer in Freedom Hall in 1977. One of the best shows I ever saw. This video was spot on. Go Big Blue!

  11. Acd
    1:21 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    7 – I’m pretty sure we’ve beaten every program in the SEC in the past 7 seasons with the exception of Florida and Alabama. (Not including A&M and Mizzou. We will beat Mizzou soon.)

    We were terrible last year, the Joker hire didn’t work out and we’ve never been to a BCS game but I’m getting tired of the notion that UK is a free win for every SEC team we play. That’s just not the case.

  12. Every AAC conference team
    2:47 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    Dear Louisville,

    Thank you for joining the AAC. Your addition to the conference elevates us to being one step higher than a Division III league, collectively. We will proudly let you pound on us, enabling your fan base to share in the joy of an undefeated season, and further seek vindication from the superior university that resides in Lexington.

    Best regards,
    The sh!tyy teams that make up the AAC

  13. PanhandleCat
    6:44 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    Excellent writing. Good insights. You’re the intern? Wow.

  14. rockatao
    7:17 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    surely this article was copied from somewhere else …. ksr would not employ someone who could actually write

  15. buzzard
    9:44 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    #10 – I was also at the ELP concert in Freedom Hall ’77. I would have to agree with you. One of the most amazing concerts I’ve ever seen…and I’ve seen a bunch. As I recall, they played with a 75 piece orchestra. Thanks John Dubya

  16. Tom Blevins
    10:27 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    SEC football is the greatest show on earth? I thought the Kentucky state tournament was the greatest show on earth!

  17. come on
    10:31 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    Ignatius lives !

  18. history
    10:55 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    and this post right here from a UK “football” fan claiming college football was born in the SEC which is a statement completely void of facts is why everyone else in America hates the SEC…that and ESPN’s Clowney love-fest. History dates further back than 7 years, and there are lot of fans in Texas, Ohio, Michigan, SoCal, and Norman OK, elsewhere in FL, South Bend, etc. that think you are huge tool for writing this.

  19. Steve Fitts
    11:36 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    I stayed up LATE last night and watched Ole Miss’ thrilling, come-from-behind win over Vandy. If that game is any indication, it is going to be a WILD season in the SEC!!!

  20. larry
    11:49 am August 30, 2013 Permalink

    This should be the theme for the men’s basketball program ! COME SEE THE SHOW!!!!

  21. dana
    12:03 pm August 30, 2013 Permalink

    This guy is right, This should be theme for the basketball team,” Welcome back my friend to the show that never ends”

  22. Alex
    12:21 pm August 30, 2013 Permalink

    Great piece. Very well written.

  23. Joe
    8:40 pm August 30, 2013 Permalink

    Nicely done dubya. Yes, the cats are a doormat in the conference but we hold down basketball. & bear Bryant did win a sugar bowl here. We on the cone up! Go cats…UK 34 – WKU 13