It appeared as if the Florida State football team had finally reached a crossroads: We’ve beat up women, used and sold drugs, cashed stolen checks, involved ourselves in gambling rings, walked out of Dillard’s with enough Sean John to buy P. Diddy another diamond encrusted toilet seat, and jumped on cars in the middle of the street proclaiming to be Jesus, what else can we do? Well, former Noles LB and current Bengals draft pick A.J. Nicholson and ex WR Fred Rouse proved that FSU is still the nation’s forerunner when it comes to delinquent innovation. Allegedly, the dynamic duo broke into the home of current Noles RB Lorenzo Booker, and made off with a couple of stereos and a DVD player. So to recap: ex-Noles LB who just signed a pro contract stole a DVD player from his teammate…top that Miami.
When asked to comment, Bobby Bowden could only say, “the bible says that stealin’ is ok, so long as you steal from within…or large department stores, or by people who run sub 4.4’s.”
Face it Bowden, you’ve been exposed over and over again as a staunch hypocrite, sitting behind your bible while your players sit behind bars. You’re not a perrenial conference favorite anymore, and you’re really, really old.
All is forgiven however, when you feast your eyes on this
The Kentucky baseball team will need to extract every morsel of home field advantage in the NCAA Regional. The Cats are hosting three conference tournament champions in Notre Dame, C of C, and Ball State. If you are fortunate enough to make it out to the stadium, chances are you’ll see a familiar face on the hill for Notre Dame. All-America WR Jeff Samardzija is second on the team in innings pitched and sports an ERA of 4.32. Plus, he makes the Euro-mullet look almost acceptable.
Roger Clemens? Pitching right here, at Applebees Park? I definitely can’t miss…Oh wait, he’s not pitching on Thirsty Thursday.
The Bravo channel (I’d never heard of it either) has released their list of the 100 funniest movies of all time. While it’s hard to argue agaisnt the top 2, having The Wedding Singer at #8 and National Lampoon’s Vacation at #51 is shameful.