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ESPNsanity

You know what, I see what you’re doing ESPN, and I don’t like it. With the unrelenting publicity of the upcoming NFL Draft, you want us to genuinely care about how many reps Jay Cutler can do at 225, Vince Young’s wind-aided vs. non wind-aided 40 time, and Mel Kiper, Jr. It’s as if some sadistic suit at the network is hoping the draft will surpass all other conversations at the watercooler…and they were right. Many of my friends, mostly losers some with promise, have succumb to the frenzied NFL draft brainwashing administered by your shameless network. When you get average Joe’s discussing the details of A.J. Hawk’s physical and how it affects the Arizona Cardinals draft position, you know it’s time to ease up a little.
“Hey man, can you believe the end of 24 last night?”
24? Uh no, I was watching the preview of the NFL Draft Preview Show which leads up to the Draft Day Countdown extravaganza on Friday…you know, like the rest of the world.”
I know Mel Kiper loves the camera, and America loves his weave, but no more force-feeding, I’ve been full for weeks. So please, oh merciless suits, wait until Saturday to discuss D’Brickishaw Ferguson’s shoe size; tell your PTI hand-puppets to branch out; give Michael Irvin his paycheck with a one-way ticket to Nicaragua and say goodbye; stop fooling us into thinking there’s more to Sean Salisbury’s brain than meatloaf; and go ahead and cancel Around the Horn while you’re at it… For the current, nauseating rate of publicity has forced me to watch the NBA Playoffs– something that can never be forgiven.

Article written by Intern