Ok, I’ll be honest: I am uncomfortable with this whole “Top Blogger” thing. I was perfectly content slipping through the cracks, posting bi-weekly and staying out of the way. I’m sloppy, selfish, and poor. What do you see in me? But it hit me: it’s my aloofness that turns you on. Like an emotionally unstable sorority girl, you want what you can’t have. Mysterious. Occasionally an a-hole. Hung. Tender at the core.
I know there are plenty who detest my every word. I am happy about this. As the great Neville Chamberlain so famously uttered, “Tis better to be hated than anonymous.” Or maybe that was Wilt, or perhaps I made it up. Whomever it belongs to, ditto. But to the fans, the millions of you, thanks for the support. I will probably let you down evetually, but I don’t want to. And that should count for something.
Since my first Insight back in ’05, things have come a long way. I’ve interviewed celebs, pretended to interview celebs, jumped a shark or two, and pissed off a lot of people. It’s been fun, and I’m glad others have joined me.
I’ve always wanted a cult
Some people think I’m actually an intern. This is false. True, I work pro bono. True, I wash Matt’s car. But as you can imagine, when you blog for KSR, you get to deal out plenty of ‘pro-bono-wax-jobs’. Groupies that is, as in lots of ‘em. By the Mercury Cougar-full.
I am certainly humbled by this distinction. Just as we all hate our “phone voice”, I certainly find more entertainment in a Need-to-Know-Your-Enemy (smells like collaboration), or the day’s News and Views. I lack the intellectual tomfoolery of Tomlin, the rapist wit of Mosley, and the rapist tendencies of the Turkey Hunter. Certainly, I lack the perpetual moxie of Matt Jones, and the cinnamon tan of Rob Gidel (the pure talent, too). I will post more, even though it will have adverse effects on my approval rating. It’s like when TNT grabs ahold of a cult classic only to show it thrice daily. It’s the classic Backup Quarterback Theory.
I thank you, readers of blog, for continuing to come back and interact with us on a daily basis, though half of you are so ignorant it makes me marvel at Microsoft for making the computer so user-friendly. But if you really want to know who KSR’s top blogger is, think about this: take away my posts for a given week, Mosley’s, Tomlin’s, and Bryan’s. Now, imagine eliminating Matt’s weekly contributions and I think you will have your answer. Exactly. Hubby.