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An L of a Crime

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The Louisville Cardinals’ PR department (aka Tom Jurich’s johnson) has their hands full today, with the news that starting CB Rod Council has been dismissed from the team following his arrest in connection with a gas station heist in Waynesville, NC early this morning. Although the official report is still pending, Council apparently packed a sub-machine gun in his quest to get his money for nothing and his chips for free. An uzi, folks, an uzi (or is it a uzi, I’m not sure, my automatic weapon syntax is not what it once was). As if poor little Teresa behind the counter would not have cooperated with merely a pistol in her face. Hell, just do that “L” sign with your finger and thumb under your shirt and you don’t even need a weapon.

Now, before we get all finger pointy and ‘I told ya so-y’, the most important thing here is nobody was harmed, and the North Carolina State Penn will see to it that this young man will not be bringing his KGB-approved warfare back to the Bluegrass. But even Phil Fulmer has to blush over some of the kids UofL has hand picked over the years to lead their renaissance from an over-looked city school in Conference USA to an over-looked city school in the Big East 1 year removed from the Orange Bowl.

It would be grossly irresponsible to label the entire football team as “violently troubled” with such a small sampling. We all got our kicks from Willie Williams this year, but there’s nothing violent about telling an officer you haven’t been getting high, with a mouthful of dope. Herbivores are generally a gentle creature. But it’s not as if Council all of a sudden left study hall yesterday, drove home to North Carolina, went to church, swung by the uzi depot, and on a violent whim decided to rob a MiniMart. Obviously, this cat is mentally ill, and there is a 100% chance he has exhibted coercive behavior before. Perhaps they should’ve hired Derrick Caracter’s hand holder to wipe Council’s sphincter as well. Then again, as porous as the UofL defensive backfield was last season, I can understand their plight. After all, he was probably in North Carolina during the school week on a school sanctioned internship. Right Mr. Jurich?

Article written by John Dubya

The Twitter: @Johnawilk