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What I Hate about Tennessee

A wise man once said, “If you have hate in your heart, let it out.”  Before Kentucky takes on the Tennessee Volunteers, I had to get out all of the hate I have for Tennessee.  The list is lengthy, but not long enough.

Tennessee Orange — The color orange is not objectively hideous.  It goes great as a trim, a la Auburn, but the Pantone Tennessee chose to use is absolutely disgusting.  It burns pupils.  Like a hunter’s garb, it’s used to stand out from the crowd, except in Tennessee’s case it’s to tell every outsider, “I cheer for a women’s basketball school.”

The Fulmer Cup — So many Tennessee players used to have run-ins with the law that there’s now an unofficial award given to the college football program with the lengthiest criminal records.  Rutgers leads the current standings.

Erik Ainge — The Tennessee quarterback was generous with the football, mostly to opposing defenses.  He threw three interceptions against Kentucky in 2007, but that all was outweighed by seven touchdowns.  That’s right, SEVEN touchdowns. I learned to hate Tennessee after the 52-50 loss in quadruple overtime at Commonwealth, one that could’ve ended with a UK win in the second overtime.  If only Lones Seiber’s potential game-winning kick wasn’t blocked by Dan Williams.

Tyler Bray —  You can’t really hate Tyler Bray — after all, he did lose to UK —  unless you owned the car he pelted beer bottles with from his apartment balcony.

Peyton Manning — He once tea-bagged a trainer. People forget that.

Derek Dooley’s Pants — I can’t decide what’s uglier, Dooley’s pants or Pearl’s orange jacket?

Entitlement — Tennessee fans believe they are God’s gift to football.  They were good when Phil Fulmer was calling the shots.  He won a National Championship and had nine ten-win seasons.  Since he was forced out ten years ago, Tennessee has not finished in the top 15 or won ten games in a season.  A ten-win season isn’t happening anytime soon.

Smoky — Of all the cool dog mascots in the SEC, Smoky is the worst.

Champions of Life — I hate that Tennessee fired Butch Jones, the SEC’s Champion of Life.  However, I will thank them for hiring him after the UK search committee decided he couldn’t cut it at Kentucky.

They Low-Down.

They Dirty.

They Some Snitches.

Third Down for What — Lil Jon isn’t even from Tennessee, yet he created an obnoxious third down anthem that rang throughout Neyland Stadium.

Eric Berry — “Third Down for What” isn’t even the worst Tennessee football song.  That title belongs to the Eric Berry Halle Berry remix.

Rocky Top — I take it back.  Rocky Top is the worst Tennessee song.  It’s not just the worst Tennessee song, it’s the worst song ever.  When the unending anthem is punctuated by a “WOO!” an angel loses its wings.


Article written by Nick Roush

"Look upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole." @RoushKSR

6 Comments for What I Hate about Tennessee

  1. Lexingtonyn
    11:09 am November 10, 2018 Permalink

    Only problem is . . . Their football program is usually top 1-3 in the SEC in revenue. As much as I would love to see their program tank, they will eventually settle in near the top of the SEC east.

  2. Nickerbocker05
    12:00 pm November 10, 2018 Permalink

    I hate how ignorant there fans are… especially with that “trailer park frenzy” Heisman trophy crap back in 97’

  3. sj
    12:21 pm November 10, 2018 Permalink

    That Peyton Manning comment made me spit my coffee out ???

  4. UKCatAttack
    1:47 pm November 10, 2018 Permalink

    That I hate Tennessee video never gets old no matter how many times I watch it.

  5. sportsbird66
    6:58 pm November 10, 2018 Permalink

    What? That they are better than we are?

  6. JASUN74
    11:26 pm November 10, 2018 Permalink

    Eric Berry, Eric Bery, I need to tell you , that song was scary !! Haha. Video had a whole lot of nice with the back ground girls I must say. Still, I’m devastated with our performance today and what was a fantastic season, has lost that feeling of turning things around for the better, into another heart break! Soo disappointed today. I just knew we would beat them by 14 and have a great week to talk about our cats turning heads and being robbed by not being in the top 6. Lol. Hard to talk about without being negative so I’m done. Go cats as always, and Start working towards that 2020 championship that’s 100% happening.