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The new “Louisville Man”

Times have changed since the Sheriff (thank you for your service) blessed the internet with “Being A Louisville Man” — one of the funniest things ever written, going all the way back to the invention of the English language.

But since the day “Being A Louisville Man” took the world by storm in October of 2015, our friends at Louisville have really cleaned up their acts. They’ve pressure-washed the mountains of sex fluids off the floors, walls and ceilings of their basketball facilities; they’ve gotten rid of all the thieves, crooks and conmen that once held offices in the athletic department; and all the sudden, the fan base seems to have found a moral compass, like one magically fell out of the sky and landed on their beaks this past Saturday.

So with the recent Extreme Makeover: Fan Base Edition, I think it’s time to revisit what it means to be a Louisville Man these days.

And who better to re-write the definition than me?

 

BEING A LOUISVILLE MAN

You heard it before, what it means to be a “Louisville Man.”

It’s being soft. A “Louisville Man” complains when his hand gesture is turned upside down and flaunted in his face. It’s being offended. It’s being triggered. It’s being a grown man, allegedly, but also being butt hurt when a rival fan base mocks the way he holds his thumb and index finger. It’s being mad online at all hours of the day, every day.

It is forgetting about the time Louisville’s own quarterback turned Miami’s ‘U’ hand signal upside down after a touchdown, down 22 on the road, not even a month ago.

 

It’s forgetting the time Rick Pitino gave the middle finger while leaving Rupp Arena for the final time.

 

A Louisville Man thinks the L’s down is “truly classless” — or at least one Louisville radio host/spray tan enthusiast does:

“Pretend you know how to win,” he says. Maybe pretend you know how a rivalry works.

A Louisville Man also complains about the postgame setup for his head football coach when literally every visiting locker room on the entire planet is just as bad, if not worse.

In fact, Louisville’s visiting locker room is much worse for Mark Stoops’ postgame press conferences. Also, why would anyone build a second media room for the visiting team? There isn’t one stadium in all of college football that does that.

But thank God the Sheriff was there to find a table for his coach.

It’s being a grown man and calling yourself Sheriff.

It’s giving up 517 rushing yards to a team that is incapable of throwing the football. It’s allowing that team to set a new school record for rushing yards in a single game.

It’s genuinely believing it would be a close game this year, and refusing to believe that anyone predicted Kentucky in a blowout.

For the record, I predicted Kentucky in a blowout and honestly wondered why everyone else thought otherwise. Did anyone watch Louisville’s defense this year? Did anyone watch ACC football this year?

It’s saying Kentucky fans are obsessed with Louisville without realizing that by responding to every little thing Kentucky fans do, you are obsessing over them. Again, it’s not knowing how a rivalry works.

It’s saying Kentucky fans have no class, but also wishing Lynn Bowden “snaps an ankle.”

Or wishing Bowden gets cancer, a real comment on the Louisville message board that has since been deleted.

It’s being so weak, even your own coach whined after the game.

It’s complaining about L’s down but not complaining about your team’s lack of physicality or the game plan your new coach drew up.

It’s not taking your ass-kicking like a man and moving on.

That’s the new Louisville Man.

And to be honest, it’s a little sad.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

57 Comments for The new “Louisville Man”



  1. ClutchCargo
    6:12 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Nailed it!

    Also, that Louisville Man made up like a cardinal was on my bus back to Virginia Avenue after the game. lol



  2. 4everUKBlue
    6:13 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    LMAO! Now that was some funny sh!t!



  3. J. Did
    6:13 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Harsh = Truth



  4. J. Did
    6:15 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    uavel sold her soul to the devil – long ago.

    Zero class.

    Zero ethics.

    Zero commuter college.

    Zero.



  5. TorpedoVegas
    6:16 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Listening to 790 was an absolute treat today. Sooooo many sore losers calling in to whine.

    Let me break it down:

    1. UK fans do the “L’s” down because of how incredibly stupid it is to do “L’s” up in the first place. It’s not obsession. We think you’re a joke.

    2. The ACC is hot garbage. Stop pretending like we should be impressed with your season just because you only won two games last year.

    3. “If UK loses and finishes 6-6, it’s a step back for their program”. Oh word? We lost two once in a lifetime talents last year who practically carried the team. Lost TW in like the third game of the season and WE ARE PLAYING A RECEIVER AT QUARTERBACK.



    • StillBP
      7:08 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

      Totally nailed their talking points… Er crying points.



  6. kentuckybackupplayer
    6:22 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Being a Louisville man also means having to clean the mojito off your flat bill as you have leaned over to cry in it.



  7. J. Did
    6:24 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    TorpedoVegas:

    Thank you for the affirmation.

    uavel football is weak.

    And, in a weaker conference.

    Kudos to Satterfield for not having stolen the opponents playbook this year and managing a win there – and there.

    But NOT at KENTUCKY!

    The ACC – Always Cheating Conference – is sad, just plain sorry-sucky.

    As such, uavel football is equally pitiful – like their simple-trash-bird and collective non-intellect.



  8. largoky
    7:00 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    That dude in the makeup, trying to look like a bird is the most ridiculous looking fan ever. If anybody is friends with that guy, it is your duty to tell him to stop. Maybe that will inspire him to move out of his mom’s basement. Everything they say and do is the definition of little brother!



  9. StillBP
    7:09 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Strong work Drew. Hammered it!



  10. csnailnrun
    7:10 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Such a pathetic city.
    Make Kentucky Great Again. The a wall around loserville! Or reroute the Ohio River and cut loserville into Indiana. :)))))))



    • 502ownsLexghanistan
      3:08 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      You clearly have no clue what your talking about. Louisville holds this garbage state together. Louisville is the economic engine of this state. Without Louisville this garbage state would rank near the bottom in any major category that matters when talking gdp, economic growth, jobs, anything you want to name. Hahaha yes, please move us away from the rednecks, and the hillbillies.



    • StillBP
      4:31 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      The city isn’t bad, the school is. Just build a wall around the school. Keep their L holding wanna-be thugs but living in their mom’s basement losers within the wall.



    • TheTweak
      5:58 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      The west end of Louisville elected Andy Beshear, another reason to hate the damn cesspool!



    • Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
      6:02 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      502 is half right if it wasn’t for all the Kentucky fans in Louisville working their tails off and paying taxes to cover for the 100% of Louisville fans on welfare, the state and city would go bankrupt. Kinda like his name 502 owns Lexington…the Louisville fans draw so much from the state that it’s basically like Lexington folks(who actually work for a living) are nothing but slaves to pay for the housing, utilities, lack of education, and drug habits of the cardinals entire fan base.



    • Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
      6:16 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      He also added “please move us away from the rednecks, and the hillbillies”……so 502 is getting as tired of the entire UofL fan base and his family as the rest of us are and wants to be moved to people of a higher caliber. It’s easy 502 just move to Lexington and you’ll get away from the majority of inbreds (aka Louisville Cardinal fans) that plauge the state.



    • 4everUKBlue
      9:15 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      CodeRed is back, we missed you Code, our number one whipping boy.



    • EazyDuzIt
      11:26 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Another laudably ignorant take by 502. Louisville is the biggest city but it also drags the state down in terms of education and crime. It’s ranked near the bottom of the top 120 places to live. Lexington is in the top 25. Lexington’s median household income is over 10k more per year than Louisville’s Lexington is one of the most educated cities in America. Louisville is in the bottom half. By every metric, Lexington owns Louisville. It isn’t even close. Just like the rivalry in sports. UK is also a much better school academically. These are all facts. Do some research before you talk. As for the state, it’s mostly Eastern Kentucky and Louisville that drag it down in the poverty and crime categories. But at least people in Eastern Ky aren’t UL fans. Lexington is by far the best place to live here. And the surrounding counties are way better than metro Louisville, too. I have lived in both. No comparison. Cincy/NKY makes Louisville look like trash too. NKY and Lex are growing at a much faster rate than Lou, by the way. Your city doesn’t even have a major pro sports team. Even Memphis and OKC are laughing at Louisville.



    • EazyDuzIt
      11:34 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      *laughably ignorant. Oh, and Louisville is by far the most redneck city I have lived in. I have lived in Lex, Lou, KC, ATL, Miami, and OKC. Every one of them is ranked ahead of Louisville in all meaningful categories. Louisville is even behind STL. 91st to be exact..Lex is 21st. When my friends visit from out of town they all talk about how much nicer Lex is compared to Lou. The difference between UK/UL and Keeneland/Churchill says it all.



    • BLUEVADER
      2:13 pm December 3, 2019 Permalink

      502 hey bub your ass ache brah!! You the perfect example of this article! Loueyville man! Yes I misspelled it on purpose cause it doesn’t deserve to be spelled correctly punk!



  11. 4everUKBlue
    8:06 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Most importantly you need a good spin doctor, as evidenced by they attached story. How horrible would it be to wake up one day and find oneself reincarnated as a UofLittleBro fan?



  12. Jester
    8:24 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    It’s a dirty, urban, commuter school filled with trash. Here’s hoping we steal take every decent recruit they go after.



  13. Duuuuuude
    9:53 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    The best you have written in years Drew! lol



  14. Duuuuuude
    10:19 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    The best you have written in years Drew! lol



  15. Duuuuuude
    10:20 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    The best you have written in years Drew! lol



  16. bbn606
    11:07 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Let’s don’t rant on them too much. After all, they have the Number 1 basketball team in the country.



    • Jester
      11:33 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

      I’m interested to hear how you relate that to the beatdown we gave their FOOTBALL team…



    • ukkatzfan
      2:11 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Petrino trying would have had a better year than this coach. Last year bobby p burned the team to the ground and quit trying to win. Satterfield won’t see this next class graduate as their coach.



    • ukkatzfan
      2:11 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Accidental reply. Sorry.



    • StillBP
      4:33 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Hahaha hopefully Michigan doesn’t take it from them before we play them.



  17. Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
    11:46 pm December 2, 2019 Permalink

    Don’t forget if the fans are anything like the school they don’t pay their bills.



  18. kuhlkat
    2:06 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    I live to hate Loserville. I hate them with my every fiber. I wish nothing but bad things to all their sports team and pathetic coaches. I don’t own any red clothing. I shot cardinals in the woods with my BB gun when I was a kid. I saved every VHS tape of every game we beat them at when I was growing up. I hate Louisville.



  19. 502ownsLexghanistan
    2:52 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Hahahaha. Just a trash piece written by a trash individual that writes for a trash website. And everyone that reads this and gets enjoyment out of it is a trash individual as well. Trash. Haha you all want to say Louisville doesn’t exist, then type out a big spread like this. You clowns are hilarious. Can’t wait to beat y’all down on the 28th. Y’all’s basketball team is garbage.



    • StillBP
      4:36 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Your school is garbage. Enjoy holding that L from Saturday yet another year.



    • Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
      6:09 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Well this trash piece was good enough to draw in a trash troll(502ownshissister), from a trash fanbase ,of a trash school, in a trash city. Get a job 502 then you will make more then welfare and food stamps provide and you can get out of the trash basement of your trash mother’s trash home in the trash neighborhood filled with all your trash family.



    • cats646
      7:07 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      We could lose every scholarship player on our Basketball team and we still wouldn’t be as bad as UofL’s football team. A truly embarrassing performance Saturday. 502 owns nothing except the ass whipping we handed you.
      L’s down forever!!



    • 4everUKBlue
      8:19 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      I really feel sorry for a UofLittleBrothel fan who has no better way to spend his time than to troll his owner’s fansite. What’s the word I’m looking for?……Oh yeah, PATHETIC! L’s down for all eternity. Enjoy your dumpster fire loser.



    • Drew Franklin
      10:22 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      But you’re here.



    • EazyDuzIt
      11:46 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Garbage? UK is 36-16 vs. UL and has been farther in the tournament 9 of the last 10 years. We are 10-2 vs. UL under Cal. You are setting yourself up for failure just like you did talking trash before the football game. UK will be favored to beat UL again this year. -3 currently. We beat MSU. The Evansville loss was without two key pieces and UK is improving. I wouldn’t call a top 10 team who owns Louisville garbage. But I’m not an ignorant fan like you. Oh, and we still own UL in recruiting. Askew and next year’s class is loaded. But we will beat the overrated Cards this year like always. Why do you all talk before the game when you consistently lose to UK. Just make you clowns look stupid when we inevitably beat you.



  20. The Big Lebowski
    3:19 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Apathy — that’s all I feel for UL.

    I feel no real need to talk about them or hate them.



  21. The Big Lebowski
    3:19 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Now….Duke.

    Duke, I find abhorrent as f*ck!



  22. Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
    6:26 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    502 just made me realize UofL’s recruiting pitch. Come to UofL and not only can your family stay on welfare we’ll help you get on welfare to.



    • Thetruthshallsetbennyfree
      6:28 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Oh and we pay a guy to give us hard working Kentucky fan’s piss and blood test so you always come back clean.



    • StillBP
      7:23 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      502 is Exhibit A of ‘Louisville Man’ that this post is about. Sensitive, insecure, bitter. Quite the tantrum he’s throwing!



  23. catheaven
    7:11 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    And this is why I love Drew Franklin.



  24. bnelson0364
    7:18 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Hired Bobby Petrino not just once, but twice. That should end any discussion of “class” or “classless.”



    • zoupman
      8:18 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      So true. Who would be so arrogant to hire Petrino a second time?
      To the guy who said, no one saw this coming. I was predicting it all week. I knew no way in hell a team that has been getting run over all year could stop UK running game. I didn’t necessarily see 500 yards plus in rushing, but final score was about what I thought it would be. Although I really thought we might hang 50 plus on them. They have given up that many in about 11 of their last 18 games.
      Take out Clemson, ACC football is AAC all over again.



    • 4everUKBlue
      8:32 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Hiring Petrino twice has more to do with lack of intelligence and desperation IMO.



  25. Lyle Evans
    8:00 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Best piece on KSR in a long time. And Louisville fans — unironically — begin whining about it in 3. . . 2. . . 1



  26. 4everUKBlue
    8:31 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Looks like Drew hit a nerve with 502, who I believe is CodeRed, he was the only Cards fan stupid enough to keep coming back to his owner’s site, his new name is really cute though.



    • StillBP
      8:46 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      You might be ghetto if: you refer to your city by the area code. Never would I refer to Lexington as 859 LOL
      Fun fact: 859 was chosen as the area code bc the numbers represent UKY on a standard keypad. 502…well that doesn’t mean $hit!



    • ClutchCargo
      9:07 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Damn right, he hit a nerve! This ass-whooping is going to sting for about the next year, when they get another one on their home field.



    • EazyDuzIt
      12:17 pm December 3, 2019 Permalink

      Hilarious that Louisville is not even big enough to cover the 502 area code. It extends out to Frankfort and Georgetown…way more UK fans in the 502 footprint than Louisville fans. 859 area code per capita includes way more income/jobs/MHI and healthy people, by the way. Another interesting point that Code Red is ignorant to. Louisville is very similar to a Wichita/Flint/Birmingham type of town. Sucks but it’s true. As a Kentuckian it would be good for the state if Louisville could come close to Lexington’s education and income levels eventually…but it is not even close right now. Lexington out paces them by over 10k per person currently. And in education it is almost two times better than Lou in college degrees per capita. Lexington area is also the fastest growing part of the state by far.



  27. secrick
    9:31 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Great job Drew. That was some good reading.



  28. spincr4hire72
    10:25 am December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Lol. Exactly Drew



  29. BLUEVADER
    2:17 pm December 3, 2019 Permalink

    502 ASS ACHES SO BAD IT EATING HIS GUTS OUT INSIDE! HOW WAS IT WHEN UK JUST FLATOUT SHOVED Y’ALL’S GUTS UP INTO YOUR LUNGS!!? WE CAN STAND THE SMELL AS LONG AS Y’ALL CAN STAND THE PAIN LOUEYVILLE MANGINAS!



  30. not
    2:18 pm December 3, 2019 Permalink

    Excellent work Drew