Football’s latest and greatest phenomenon to illustrate the agony of defeat is the Surrender Cobra. It’s a different kind animal, much less deadly than its reptilian cousin but much more humiliating. The Surrender Cobra has a variety of species within its genus. During this Bye Week, I’m hear to educate on the different types of Surrender Cobra you need to be aware of entering the Second Half of the season.
When you realize you’re the only one in the office that wore your Halloween costume to work.
When you don’t have a tissue to wipe away your tears.
When it’s so bad you can only use one hand.
When you still have your swag turned on.
When that dude just can’t take a hint.
When it’s not even halftime.
When it won’t stop and you’re still standing in the rain.
When Mom forgets to buy pizza rolls.
When you regret getting that “Dolphins Super Bowl 50 Champs” tattoo.
When you miss a field goal and lose the Iron Bowl on a 109-yard return.