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Stephen Johnson eating 5,000 calories a day to gain weight

KSR-1744

Stephen Johnson is currently on my ideal diet of eat, eat, eat and then eat again.

At today’s practice, Johnson told reporters the staff wants him to eat 5,000 calories per day in order to add more weight to his frame. The new diet consists of four complete meals and four snacks each day.

With this new news, I will now walk to the fridge and reheat some of last night’s Domino’s pizza.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

6 Comments for Stephen Johnson eating 5,000 calories a day to gain weight



  1. Sentient Third Eye
    11:21 am March 28, 2017 Permalink

    I propose we all adopt the same diet as a form of moral support!



  2. 96ChampionBestTeamEver
    2:26 pm March 28, 2017 Permalink

    I have him beat really bad. I can gain on less than 2000 calories. But having to gain weight would be a nice problem to have.



  3. UKPROF
    2:41 pm March 28, 2017 Permalink

    If Johnson’s metabolism was the same as mine, in two weeks he would weigh at least 390.



  4. Doctor21
    2:47 pm March 28, 2017 Permalink

    Why, heck. I will give him 75 lbs.

  5. Gimel Martinez (the real one!) all over again. I remember reading in The Cats’ Pause that he was having to swill (I think) protein shakes all the time while trying to gain weight. Walter McCarty too I believe.



  6. theWilkman
    4:23 pm March 28, 2017 Permalink

    Just have him eat whatever Matt Elam does.