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Let’s Play Around With The SEC Non-Conference Schedule

A few weeks back the SEC formalized its scheduling plans for the future, keeping an 8-game SEC schedule while mandating that each team play one opponent from the other major four conferences.  Many teams will opt to play traditional rivals (Louisville/Kentucky, Georgia/Georgia Tech, South Carolina/Clemson, etc.) but there are much more entertaining alternatives.  

Alabama– I don’t think Nick Saban will leave Alabama for Duke anytime soon, but Wallace Wade’s move to Durham in 1931 left a permanent mark on College Football.  Wade was a man of honor, leaving head coaching after his 1942 Rose Bowl defeat to fight in WWII.  A Blue Devil/Crimson Tide matchup would be an appropriate way to honor a founding father of college football.

Arkansas– It has been almost 40 years since Lou Holtz’s Razorbacks tied the UCLA Bruins 10-10 in the 1978 Fiesta Bowl.  It’s grudge match time because the only ties Southerners believe in are of the bow variety.

Auburn – The War Eagle flew high during the improbable 2013 season at Jordan Hare, but the Eagles of Boston College were the first Eagles to work miracles.

Georgia – The Dawgz would have gotten to see their greatest player in a red uniform another year, had not the USFL allowed for underclassmen to not only leave college early, but also choose where they were going to play.  Rutgers doesn’t deserve to be the whipping boy, but Donald Trump’s New Jersey Generals deserve to be reprimanded.

Florida – Two words: Urban Meyer. #NuffSaid

Kentucky – “Two Stoops, One  Bowl” would be an interesting headline against Oklahoma, but the most fun matchup would be against Notre Dame.  Not because the Cats could steal a win, but because it would likely lead to an unprecedented triple-header that John Calipari has lobbied for with the football, men’s and women’s basketball teams all facing off in one weekend.

LSU – Les Miles makes crazy play calls on a regular basis.  Can you imagine the tom foolery on display against his old Cowboys from Oklahoma State?

Mississippi State – The Bulldogs think they have the most cowbell, but nobody has more cowbell than Gene Frenkle (of SNL/Will Ferrell fame).

Ole Miss – Without Colonel Reb, a mascot challenge between Rebel Black Bear and Cal’s Oski is necessary.

Missouri – Dave Chapelle’s Clayton Bigsby best justifies a Kansas-Missouri game, “If you have hate in your heart let it out.”

Tennessee – It might put spectators’ vision in danger, but the “ugliest orange uniforms in the nation” debate could be solved with a matchup against the Orange of Syracuse.

Texas A&M – How would the Texas Longhorns fare with Johnny Manzeil at safety?

Vanderbilt – Proving to James Franklin that they are not an SEC doorstep, the Commies get blown away by the reduced scholarship Nittany Lions.

South Carolina – The Ole Ball Coach is still trying to best his former Florida team (batting .500 through eight years), but nothing would shutup Spurrier’s haters better than avenging his former team by wiping out RGIII and the Washington Redskins.  Many may laugh it off, but what if they still had Jadeveon Clowney????

Article written by Nick Roush

"Look upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole." @RoushKSR

4 Comments for Let’s Play Around With The SEC Non-Conference Schedule

  1. Steady
    4:16 pm May 11, 2014 Permalink


  2. CAD
    4:59 pm May 11, 2014 Permalink

    Well this was atrocious.

  3. Gap Tooth Danny
    6:13 pm May 11, 2014 Permalink

    Possibly interesting, but I’ll be busy for the foreseeable future compiling my top ten list of things to complain about. So far I’ve got: #10 – 2, still thinking. #1, Clueless sportswriters who ascribe their worst traits to the general population of BBN.
    THANKS JERRY! (note, not excluding others, I’m looking at you Forde).

  4. WTF
    8:05 pm May 11, 2014 Permalink

    Kids, this post is the reason why you shouldn’t do drugs.