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Kentucky vs. Mississippi State: Off-Field Analysis

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Tomorrow morning, Freddie Maggard will release his weekly breakdown of Kentucky and its upcoming football opponent. This week it’s Mississippi State and he believes the Cats are in for a dog fight (pun intended). You’ll know why once you read his position-by-position advantages and analysis.

But before we share that, let’s take a look at the off-the-field advantages. These may not have an effect on Saturday’s game, but they are equally important.

Here’s a head-to-head examination of which school is winning outside of the actual football.

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CITY

Lexington vs. Starkville

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In the first of our nine matchups tonight, Lexington gives Kentucky the 1-0 lead over Mississippi State by being one thousand times better than Starkville. As I’ve said many times over the years, Starkville is the worst place in America.

 

STADIUM

Commonwealth vs. Davis Wade

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This is a tough one and I’m still not convinced I got it correct. Kentucky’s Commonwealth Stadium is fresh off its $110 renovation, but Davis Wade provides a better game day atmosphere. I asked two unbiased SEC fans who have been to both this season, and they each gave Mississippi State the nod.

I attended a game in Davis Wade and thought it was garbage, but that was before it added one of the largest video boards in college football. That, and the fact it sold out 31 consecutive games from 2009 to 2014, gives State the slight edge.

 

STADIUM ANNOYANCE

Kentucky Joe vs. Cowbells

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In the Stadium Annoyance category, Mississippi State edges out Kentucky with its cowbells being slightly more obnoxious than Kentucky Joe.

If Commonwealth Stadium were to have 50,000 Kentucky Joes, it would win in a landslide. But the cowbells take the matchup for sheer volume.

 

BASKETBALL TEAM

Wildcats vs. Bulldogs

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Ha.

Moving on…

OFFSEASON KNOCKOUT

Drew Barker vs. Dak Prescott

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Both football programs saw a quarterback get knocked the fug out in offseason fights last spring. State’s Dak Prescott was jumped while enjoying his Spring Break in Panama City, only to be matched by Drew Barker fighting Patrick Grafree’s fist with his jaw in Richmond soon after.

The two quarterbacks were blindsided by cowards, so this one is a push.

 

HOTTEST FAN

Kindly vs. Stingray

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Though they likely have a similar bra size, Kindly is the winner in this contest and it’s not even close. I’ll take Kindly against anyone here.

This does not change my appreciation of Stingray, however. The guy is a star. I just have no interest in seeing him in a bikini.

 

FALL FUN!

Keeneland vs. Vardaman Sweet Potato Festival

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As a regular at Keeneland’s fall meets and a one-time Vardaman Sweet Potato Festival attendee, I can say with the 100 percent confidence that Keeneland is the better of the two. While the old ladies of Vardaman look good in their cross-stitch sweaters, nothing compares to the scene on a Saturday afternoon at Keeneland.

Give me the bourbon and horses over the sweet potatoes all day.

 

RESTAURANT

Tolly Ho vs. Beef O’Brady’s, Starkville

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Tolly Ho was named one of the Best Drunk Eats In America by Buzzfeed earlier today and you’ll have a hard time finding anyone who disagrees. The Beef O’Brady’s in Starkville, on the other hand, is your typical Beef O’Brady’s. It’s nothing special. Lukewarm wings and celery and soggy fried pickles and stuff.

Winner: Tolly Ho

Disclaimer: I have no idea if people eat at the Beef O’Brady’s in Starkville, but I assume everyone eats at the Beef O’Brady’s in Starkville. Starkville seems like a very Beef O’Brady’s type of town. I bet it stays packed.

 

HAPPINESS

Not Living In Starkville vs. Living In Starkville

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And in the most important category of them all, Not Living In Starkville takes the crown over Living In Starkville. If you live anywhere not named Starkville, you are winning.

 

FINAL SCORE

Kentucky: 6 | Mississippi State: 2

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

8 Comments for Kentucky vs. Mississippi State: Off-Field Analysis



  1. Shelby
    8:35 pm October 21, 2015 Permalink

    I’ve been to games at miss st, and when i went, that place was a dump. This was 10 years ago, and i don’t know if they’ve renovated since then, but the pre-renovation cws was much nicer.



  2. Mitch
    9:02 pm October 21, 2015 Permalink

    You’re Welcome for thawing a loose Benjamin at Commonwealth…Cal threw in another $10. $110 was exactly what that stadium needed….



  3. inside info2
    10:47 pm October 21, 2015 Permalink

    Speaking of Stingray, what happened to UK’s greatest fan, Kige Ramsey?



  4. Dave
    11:20 pm October 21, 2015 Permalink

    Drew

    Why do you have to make fun of others to feel good about yourself? It gets old. Wouldn’t focusing on the positives of being a wildcat make you feel better than constantly degrading our opponents? Get a life man. When Matt leaves you will ruin this place with your negativity and lack of self confidence.



    • Drew
      12:24 am October 22, 2015 Permalink

      Dave

      Why do you have to make fun of others to feel good about yourself? You will ruin this place with your negativity and lack of self confidence.



    • ...
      1:51 am October 22, 2015 Permalink

      Judging by your avatar, you kind of look (and sound) like a bitch.

      Just throwing that out there.



    • Easy Wind
      7:17 am October 22, 2015 Permalink

      Dave, you are an idiot. Please do us all a favor, and find somewhere else to read about the cats. Ditto what (…October) said about your avatar.



  5. Matt
    3:29 pm October 22, 2015 Permalink

    I moved to Mississippi last year and have been to several State games. They have renovated around the stadium to allow a tailgating area which is actually pretty awesome. Also, they had several awesome places to eat just off campus, my first pick would be Little Dooeys, it specializes in BBQ and southern food; Strombolis which is right next door has some killer pizza. After the game I would suggest Cowbells, it also has pretty good food and gets pretty live after dark (they have $1 Natty Lights and Keystones).