For the past decade, I was forced to take vacation days in order to intently follow the unique southern holiday known as SEC Media Days. On Sunday, I start my maiden voyage to Hoover, Alabama for the unofficial, official start to the college football season. Still hard to imagine, but next week I will be consumed with four days of Southeastern Conference awesome gaudiness.
However, this morning reality hit me between my eyes: I’m really doing this. I’ve pre-written overviews about each of Kentucky’s conference opponents. Lists of questions have grown from 8 to 19 pages. Shirts and britches have been dry cleaned and pressed. Getting a big-city hair cut tonight. Shameless plug: I will make sure to pack my Harry’s razor. For an instant, I thought I was ready for this once in a lifetime experience. But no. As usual, irrational second guessing overwhelmed any resemblance of rationale.
Will I choke when the mic comes my way for a question? Will I even ask a question? If I do, how do I introduce myself? Will I sound stupid in front a thousand plus media professionals? Do I call them Coach or by their first name? I have to admit, I’m nervous. I don’t get nervous. But when I do I revert to familiar militaristic organization and planning processes.
So, here’s my plan:
— Interpret “Coach Speak”. At this event, most on the podium throw out an overabundance of “coachy” sayings. I intend to sift through the undertones and provide an objective assessment.
— Mainly write about UK’s conference opponents including interviews, pictures, and other noteworthy information.
— Anything I find funny, goofy, or out of the ordinary will be post worthy.
— Podcasts will be plentiful, or so I’ve been told by Nick Roush. There are several moving parts within this operation. First, Nick has to travel from the Peach thing to Hoover. Second, he will have needed to pack the podcast machine. And third, he’ll have to know how to put the machine together to establish communications with the KSR mothership. I’m skeptical on two of the three happening.
— Introduce my four-day roomie, Nick Roush, to the torturous world of an insomniac football nerd. I don’t plan on wasting a minute of this opportunity.
— Keep a ClichÃ© Count. My money’s on Tennessee’s Butch Jones to win this competition.
— Gear up for UK’s appearance by providing an overabundance of analytical information. Jon Toth, JoJo Kemp, and Courtney Love will be representing Kentucky. The fact that Love is being taken to Hoover is a bold statement by Mark Stoops. Yet to play a snap as a Wildcat, I’ve heard nothing but rave reviews on the Nebraska transfer’s leadership.
— I will not drink Dr. Pepper. Understanding that it’s the event’s official drink and all, but I’ve never acquired the taste. I’m on a water kick. I loathe drinking water but I’ve heard it helps in weight loss. Television cameras adds 30 to 40 pounds on me during the season. Kale shakes have run their course, pun intended. I’m officially back on the Diet Coke wagon.
— Observe the mega-talking heads’ makeup and hair rituals in order to improve my on-set cosmetic game. When you have a dome like mine, any improvements are significant upgrades.
— Plan to meet media members that I’ve grown to admire over the years. Most are not mega-heads or work for major outlets. There will be some sharp football minds in Hoover. I plan to pick their brains.
— Depart Hoover with a better understanding of each conference team in order to prepare KSR Scouting Reports throughout the season.
So, there’s that. Wish me luck. Listen to the podcasts and read our posts. Roush and I will need all the support we can muster.