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Etiquette Update Update For Louisville Football Fans


Yesterday, a very unpopular website called Card Game posted an “Etiquette Update For Louisville Football Fans” for its dozens and dozens of readers. “Less than 100 days until the 2014 football season begins,” it read. “Time again to update the rules of etiquette at University of Louisville football games.”

The website proceeded to list several rules to remember when attending football games in Papa John’s Stadium next fall, adding “we’ll keep hammering at them until hell freezes over.”

Whoa! They mean business!

Tonight, I would like to make a handful of minor adjustments to the rules in a feature I am calling, “Etiquette Update Update For Louisville Football Fans.” I simply took Card Game’s list, crossed through the unnecessary language, and added my own.

Enjoy. L1C4!


Leave earlier to get to the stadium. Every game will be a sold this season. Pack up the tailgate, be in your seat at kickoff.  Tailgate funding is down this season so we could only afford the strippers for two hours and I’d hate for you to miss them. They have to clock back in at Trixie’s by noon to catch the Saturday lunch crowd.

Don’t cross in front of other fans to get to your seat in the middle of a play. You are blocking the view of fans who actually care about the game. Wait till the play is over.  We snuck this pint of Hennessey in through a baby bottle and I’d hate to whoop your ass for kicking it over.

Know when to stand or not to stand. Nothing worse than someone standing up when nothing is happening, sometime affecting several rows of fans. (Hint: If you’re the only one standing in the section, there’s a problem).  Stand when the beat drops. Sit when the cops patrol your section looking for who brought the weed.

Don’t be a negative neanderthal. There’s always some guy who thinks every play is terrible, every tackle is sloppy, any gain by the opposing team is poor defensive play, and thinks he’s the expert on play calling.  You think this is bad? Let me remind you of the Kragthorpe years.

Limit social, non-football dialogue if possible. Your long time friends may actually be more interested in football.  I’m trying to listen to K-Dogg on the ones and twos for Christ’s sake.

Limit alcohol intake. Don’t spill beer on fellow fans. Or your guts for that matter.  I’m just kidding. TURN DOWN FOR WHAT!

Watch your language. Difficult at times. But coaches, players and officials can’t hear you. Only your seat neighbors who struggle to ignore you.  When you talk trash to UK fans on Twitter, remember: their indicates possession, they’re is a contraction of they and are, and there refers to a place.

Don’t make a big show of leaving before the game is over. Players notice. Coaches, too, especially those previously suspected of wandering eyes. Let all of the sober fans get on the road first so they can get home safely. It shouldn’t take the four of them too long to get on the Watterson and away from the stadium.

Don’t wear apparel from opposing programs (there’s always one or two UK fans) unless your team is UofL’s opponent that day.  However, knockoff designer clothing and jewelry is not only acceptable, it is encouraged. If you bought it in the middle of the mall, wear it. If you bought it at the State Fair, flaunt it. Work that Burlington Coat Factory, girl.

Don’t sell or give your Louisville vs. UK tickets to Kentucky fans. Even in a house divided. We don’t want them coming in here and classing the place up.

Hammer these until hell freezes over!

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

21 Comments for Etiquette Update Update For Louisville Football Fans

  1. blueaville
    8:16 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    although it’s another ul post i actually was interested until #5…why the language?

    • cris
      8:34 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      DF seems like he’s been good at that lately….Next time try using “for Buddha’s sake” or “for Mohammed’s sake” and see what happens…

    • Laker Cat 18
      8:40 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      How about Pete? That way no one is offended other than guys named Pete. No one cares about a Pete.

    • Pete
      9:05 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Oh yeah? Up yours

    • Ty2U
      12:25 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      ^^^ LOL

  2. Dan
    8:18 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    So socially always talk about football?

  3. 2 and 10
    8:45 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    It’s all fun and games until UofL stomps UK and your sausage link fingered coach.

    • bluemanchew
      10:31 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Its all fun and games untill your coach says he isn’t going anywhere while he is booking his flight outta here leaving your program in jurich’s own words a mess the worst shape it had ever been in. To go ruin the falcons then leave in the middle of the night to go recruit a bunch of criminals to another school. Then cheat on his wife with a younger member of his staff. Then put both of their lives in jeopardy while drinking and driving wrecking the motorcycle they were on. Then comes crawling back. Promising he won’t never do it again. Sounds fun.

    • bluemanchew
      10:56 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Curb stomping is that a DJ term? I bet you wish you had Joker right now. If not after you feel Kragthorped in a year or two you will.

  4. mashburnfan1
    8:56 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    Breaking News: UK Bat C-A-T-S just knocked off #1 seed UF 4-2 at SEC Tourney and will play the USC/Miss St winner Thursday around 8 pm. If they can get the win Thursday they advance to the semi-final game on Saturday afternoon.

    • Baseball fan
      9:01 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Good to see the bad cats doing well. Unfortunately, most of our fans only care about base-keet-ball.

    • Chaz
      9:19 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Eight seed takes down the one seed. Deja Vu.
      Go cats!

    • Undertaker's Dong
      10:12 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

      Base-keet-ball, I like that. My wife is an expert in dialects, and she is always fascinated by Oscar Combs’ vowel sounds. His accent should be in a museum.

  5. Steve
    10:15 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    I would just be happy if they could spell their mascots name right on their posterboards.

    • Ty2U
      12:33 pm May 22, 2014 Permalink

      I’d agree, but that’s a typical Cardinal fan 🙂 lol

  6. bluemanchew
    10:45 pm May 21, 2014 Permalink

    It is amazing that just the other day I was telling my story in the comment section. About how I bought tickets from a UL fan. Took my kids tailgating at the uk vs. ul game and a truck parked next to us with a 55 year old lady on a stripper pole in the back. And my kids constantly kept asking me what various cuss words meant. Then asked me why those peoples cigarettes smelled funny. Not to mention had to throw away my kids shoes because they were soaked in beer that was covering the ground of the concourse. They thought they were jumping in water puddles.

  7. Jimi
    2:43 am May 22, 2014 Permalink

    She’s doing it wrong!

    It’s Cardinals

  8. Drew Franklin
    7:32 am May 22, 2014 Permalink

    Remember when I used to be funny? Now I just throw recycled UofL jokes out there, and delete all the comments that call me out for sucking.

    • SuperCat
      7:56 am May 22, 2014 Permalink

      Aint that the truth…. Thats why I hardly get on here anymore

    • bluemanchew
      9:52 am May 22, 2014 Permalink

      Why so serious? WHY SO SERIOUS. never accused you of anything bruh. Just thought it was a coincidence. And I approve of deleting troll comments. Just wanted to explain the mystery DJ curb stomp comment. And lastly you sir do not suck. We both know that as fact.