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Drunk Arkansas fan writes “Kentucky made me cry” about his breakup

sad-fan

Breakups are a hard thing to go through. I remember when a young filly broke my heart for the first time. I cried and cried and cried over a Nachos BellGrande and four or five Nacho Cheese Chalupas for, like, an entire night. Tissues everywhere. Snot dripping into my Fiesta Potatoes. It was awful.

Others cope in different ways, when faced with rejection and heartbreak. Take this Arkansas football fan, for instance. When he got dumped by his one and only, he turned to alcohol and the college football board on reddit, where he wrote, “Kentucky made me cry”:

Year after year the University of Kentucky plays a football season and loses most of their games. I watch sometimes and a while back I got super drunk and watched Kentucky get curb stomped by Alabama. With my flair I know I don’t have room to talk, but I watch Kentucky lose week after week and still play.

Despite these loses Kentucky saddles back up and plays again each year. They never give up, they never say no. They just play, knowing full well what fate awaits them. Kentucky is so brave. They charge into war knowing they’ll perish.

I wish I could be like Kentucky, I wish I could keep fighting. I wish I could be strong and face devastating defeat day after day, but I can’t. I can’t be brave like Kentucky, I can’t handle constant rejection. Be like Kentucky guys, fight even though it doesn’t matter, I wish I could but I can’t.

Edit: well…as you all know I got pretty drunk last night. I really appreciate all the people who reached out and talked to me. I really was feeling pretty bad, but you all really helped me feel better about all this.

After a fifth of whiskey and and 9 beers I was pretty trashed and usually when that happens I do something really stupid, but other than post this crazy, embarrassing thread I didn’t text her or call her or anything. I want to thank this whole community for taking their time to comment, I’m looking really forward to participating in this place and I promise I’ll lay off the embarrassing depression posts lol [reddit]

Cheer up, my man. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. And though most of those fish are double-digit favorites, every once in awhile you’ll get one with some miracle, like with a wide receiver at quarterback.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

13 Comments for Drunk Arkansas fan writes “Kentucky made me cry” about his breakup



  1. Biglaw Dawgin'
    3:20 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

    This guy rocks. Screw that chick.



  2. onsides
    3:34 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

    5th of whiskey and 9 beers?



    • ClutchCargo
      3:54 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      That dude’s liver must be made of carbyne.



    • Blue Jesus
      4:01 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      Yeah not sure he’d be writing so coherently with all that in his tummy



  3. cats paw
    3:52 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

    i wish for the day when the cheerleaders can remove their big blue glasses and actually see how the nation actually views this program. most will take this article as a compliment.



    • secrick
      4:09 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      wish on



    • Realme
      4:21 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      Can’t speak for anyone else, but I take it as a funny piece of writing, because I have something called A Sense Of Humor. CP you probably aren’t familiar with the concept.



    • J-Dub421
      5:02 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      I wish for the day when cats paw finally learns how to properly use capitalization and punctuation.



    • runningunnin.454
      5:35 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      That guy and Drew and Cats Paw are cry babies.
      Waaaaaah



    • The REAL Billy Hill
      6:43 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      LMAO. With every click and every troll post, cats paw helps to line the pocket of Matt Jones and its writers, and ensure the success of this “homer UK fan” website for the members of BBN everywhere. For that, we thank you. 😉👍🏼



  4. serdi
    4:13 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

    What is really pathetic for the guy is UK HAS BEATEN ARKANSAS 3 out of the last 5 times they have played



    • BlueDiz
      9:29 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      Pathetic that UK fans don’t realize that as well. Oh boy! BB practice.



    • cats paw
      9:42 pm October 13, 2016 Permalink

      Exactly Uk fans don’t know that because there just blind homers